Lean On Me
by The Lori C
Summary: When Lana Moss comes out of a 30 day program after battling to kick a prescription drug addiction, her friend Denise helps her land a job as the secretary to Paul London.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It was raining the morning that Lana Moss was released from rehab and was on her way home; that 'home' of course being that of her close friend, Denise Hathaway, who would be helping Lana continue on her road to recovery.

It had all started when Lana had gone through an acrimonious breakup, along with the stresses of the job she'd had at the time as an administrative assistant at a firm run by a well-known local. Her doctor had prescribed a low dose of Valium to help Lana cope, and over the coming year, she had found herself relying more on it.

And then she had injured her knee and been prescribed a painkiller on top of that. From that point, there hadn't been a day gone by that Lana wasn't in a drug-induced fog.

When she had eventually lost her job during her downward spiral, it had been Denise that stepped in. Had it not been for her, Lana would have been homeless.

It had also been Denise that had done an interaction, gently telling Lana she had a problem and needed to get some help. To Denise's amazement, Lana had agreed and had entered the first thirty-day inpatient program that was available.

Now clean, Lana needed a new outlet to keep herself that way outside of the meetings she would be going to. Little did she know on her way home that Denise had arranged that too.

----------------------------

"I don't even know why we're bothering with this shit," Paul London snorted. "First of all, who came up with the idea that I needed a secretary? And second, there isn't one chick in this pile that has qualified yet."

"Well," Denise said to him, "there is one more person you definitely need to have look at. If her qualifications don't blow you away, I will eat my hat." She handed over the resume Lana had Denise develop shortly before entering rehab.

He gave a low whine as he took it from her. "Dee, why are you people putting me through this?"

"Because even _you _have admitted being too busy to get around to things. Just think how much better organized your life will be once you get a secretary that knows what the hell she's doing." She pointed to the resume in his hand. "And if I were you, I'd read that one over very well. Miss Moss is beyond qualified for what little you need done."

"Not anything I can't take care of myself."

"Yeah, maybe two or three weeks later. At least interview the woman, if not for yourself, for me. Please?"

"Why are you so fascinated with this particular person?" he wondered.

"Actually…..Lana is a friend and she's had some rough times lately. I figured I'd get some resumes out there for her so she can get at least something part time and get on her feet."

"So you're kind of doing her a favor?"

Denise nodded. "She could use a few right now."

He spotted something on the resume. "Training as an executive secretary and worked for the last five years as an administrative assistant? Holy hell, Dee, you don't aim for the top when looking for someone for me, do you?"

"Lana was pretty efficient at her work until she…..well, until she became ill and lost her job."

"And you want to help out a friend."

"Yeah."

"With all this going for her, you tell this Lana I'd like to have her interviewed. She may be the best candidate yet. I can't offer a great salary, but—"

"I don't think she's going to care at this point, Paul. To be totally honest, if she gets the job, she may enjoy the work. The check will be just a bonus."

He grinned at the company assistant. "I have some time the next couple of days. See if you can arrange an interview or whatever it's called."

Denise beamed. "I sure will, and I have a feeling this will be a decision you won't regret."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Why on earth would you refer me for a job like this?" Lana asked Denise. "Come on, I'm barely in recovery."

"I thought between your meetings it would be a good diversion. Even you've said you're itchy to get back out there and do something productive. This will not only be productive, but also could be fun."

"Uh huh," Lana said skeptically. "And what kind of guy is this person you referred me for the job?"

"You'll love him," Denise smiled and nodded. "There's a few guys in the company that can and are real assholes, but I happy to say Paul isn't one of them. He wants to see you on Monday, by the way."

"Already?"

"All it took was one look at your resume to spark his interest."

"Okay….but who wants to be once it gets out I did a stint in rehab that my chances will be blown?"

"Lana, you act like going to rehab was a capital crime. Frankly, if I were in anyone's place, I'd admire you for admitting you had a problem and dealt with it. It shows you're a problem solver and a thinker. I honestly think this is the kind of person Paul needs. I don't think you being a recovering addict is going to weigh into the factor."

"I certainly hope not. But all right, I'll do the interview. What's the worst that can happen?"

---------------------

The more Denise had told Paul about her friend Lana, the more it had piqued his interest. It wasn't just the skills listed on her resume; he probably wouldn't need her to do much anyway.

The name _Lana_….._wool_ in Spanish. Still, it was a beautiful name.

Denise had also mentioned that this woman had also come back from a difficult time; she hadn't gone into detail with what exactly had happened to Lana, but it was clear to him that Dee had cared enough to have Lana considered for a job to put the pieces back together. If she was a tough as she sounded, she would be a nice fit for him.

----------------------

Lana arrived on Monday afternoon at the scheduled time, giving the receptionist her name and shown back to a conference room where the interview was to take place.

She felt a little intimidated by the surroundings; the last place she had worked hadn't even appeared this posh.

Denise had given her a general idea of what the job would involve and a little background on Paul, but nothing really prepared Lana for this. She just hoped she didn't come across like some clueless fool.

When Paul finally came in, Lana was stunned; he wasn't the large, hulking figure she had expected him to be. He all but looked like the men she'd pass on the street on a regular or maybe a few guys at her meetings, perhaps a little more striking.

Even stranger, she felt comfortable with him right away, something that had never happened. Nevertheless, Lana felt it was important to be honest with him as she answered Paul's questions with more ease than expected.

"Look, there's something else you should know and you can either take it or leave it in your final decision. I spent thirty days in a rehab facility recently for a pill addition; I'm clean now, but I need to be honest and get it out there—"

"The job is yours," Paul cut in.

Lana stopped short. _"What?"_

"Did I stutter?" he laughed. "You're hired. Any woman that can be that totally honest about things deserves a shot."

"You can't be serious." She was still in shock.

"Yep, the job's yours if you still want it. So when can you start?"

"Uh…is tomorrow too soon?" Lana asked, thrilled.

"Terrific! And ambitious. I think I like you already. Now let's see if you can put up with my craziness."

Lana smiled widely; Denise was right, this guy was going to be like no other, and she had a feeling that this job would be more than a cut above the boring yet stressful one she'd had for five years before her addiction.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Lana had been working for Paul for several weeks now and things seemed to be going better than expected. They had gotten chatty and she had found out a lot about him; Lana couldn't remember the last time she had been this close to an employer.

The pay wasn't fantastic, but as Denise had said to him, Lana hadn't really cared. She enjoyed the work and she liked his company. Having such a clean living man around for a boss was a bonus in her recovery, and she respected that immensely.

Lana still went to meetings, checking in with her sponsor, Renee, when she had gone on the road with Paul, as well as checked out meetings in whatever town she happened to be at the time.

But one afternoon, she had been working at the computer when she had gotten a sense someone was watching her. She shook it off for a few moments, continuing to work.

It had been Paul that was watching her; he studied his secretary at her terminal, tapping out something as usual. By now, he was glad he had listened to Denise; Lana had been a life saver when he'd forgotten things here and there or when he thought he was going to be in a crisis, she had been one step ahead of him to keep things running smoothly.

In addition to her efficiency and intelligence, even though it wasn't like Lana would give a divas a run for their money, she had been pretty in her own unique way with shining copper hair and clear blue eyes; there was more than plenty of curve to her, unlike some of the anorexic-looking women that were around.

At her desk, the feeling of being watched overcame her and she looked up from her screen, turning around to find Paul in the doorway with a look on his face.

"What?" Lana asked quizzically. "Did you need something?"

He cleared his throat, a little embarrassed at being busted. "Uh, no, nothing at all. I need to shave."

She gave him a strange look. "Okay…." she got out before resuming her work.

What the hell was that all about? Lana thought, shaking her head.

She then made a couple of telephone calls that she had put on her "to do" list for the day before breaking to meet Denise for lunch. A little girl talk would do her some good right now.

-------------------------

"It was just the strangest thing," Lana told Denise. "I was sitting there doing my work and basically minding my own business and then I had this weird feeling someone was in the room, though I didn't hear anyone come in."

"So what ended up happening?" Denise wondered.

"Well, I turned around after a few minutes and Paul was standing there with this look on his face. I can't really describe it. Anyway, when I asked if he needed anything, it was like he'd just come out of a fog and said 'No, nothing at all; I need to shave.' It was just so weird!"

Denise nodded. "He has been a little spacey the last few months; I guess it is just something you'd have to get used to."

"Yes, but it was as if I pulled him out of a trance or something."

"Lana, quite a few of these guys tend to be a bit eccentric. I know you've only been working for Paul only a short time, but the guy has his share of quirks. All you really can do is roll with them, at least for the time being."

"I guess that is it. Well, I have dealt with ten times worse. It still had me a little on edge, but I suppose it's harmless."

Denise smiled at her friend. "And you may be just getting started with Mr. Quirky Guy."


	4. Chapter 4

**C****hapter 4**

"I fucking hate Orton," Cricket said, flopping down beside Lana. "You know, you lucked out getting London. It seems I get stuck with all the assholes."

"I wouldn't call it 'lucking out,' Cricket," Lana replied. "Actually, Denise referred me to him."

"Well, still, you got a better deal than I did. Just when I think I couldn't work for a more arrogant ass, I get hit with something else. Considering the job market these days, I should be grateful to have this job at all, but still. Would you believe he wanted me to call an agency and book a couple of hookers after the show last night?"

"He wanted _what?" _Lana couldn't believe her ears. "Isn't he married?"

"Carol was right; you got a lot to learn. Married or single, doesn't matter to most of these dudes; except maybe a grand total of three or four guys that are decent, the rest will screw anything on two legs and in a short skirt."

Lana went a little pale. "Good God."

"Stick around with me long enough and I can tell you stories."

"Perhaps I'm better off _not _knowing some of them."

"And some you _should,"_ Cricket laughed. "And I thought being an operating room secretary before this job was some strange shit."

"What happened to that job?" Lana asked.

"I was a victim of downsizing," Cricket replied. "Kind of a shame, because the job wasn't really that bad. I was actually thinking about going into nursing before I lost my job. Then I saw an ad for a secretary position here, and the rest is history."

"You still don't want to study nursing? You have the personality and compassion for it."

"On what this asshole pays me? I'm lucky I can get a decent cup of coffee sometimes."

"There's grants and loans, " Lana pointed out. "Nursing is a very solid job. You're very bright, Cricket, and you have drive. I would still look into it."

Cricket shrugged. "Maybe I will."

Another secretary walked in, one Lana knew well.

"Hey, Kim," she smiled at the petite brunette.

"Morning, gals," Kim yawned, going for the coffee urn.

"Eight hours is good for that, girl," Cricket said.

"Usually I get about six," Kim laughed, "but Brian kept me up most of the night having a bitchfest."

"If it's what I think it's about, Paul filled me in last night from backstage," Lana said. "And to put it mildly, he wasn't a happy camper either."

Kim nodded. "It was. And to be honest, I'd been totally pissed too."

"It's like dealing with a couple of kids sometimes nevertheless," Lana replied.

"Yeah, I hear you there. But it beats the shit out of working for some of those idiots a few other of us girls have. I think you and I got a pretty good draw even if the pay sucks."

Lana smiled a little. "I can't help but agree. Never a dull moment with those boys."

Kim then looked at Cricket. "Wow, you mean Orton let you off your leash for a change?"

"Yeah, surprising, isn't it?" Cricket snorted. "And I'm enjoying the moment."

Kim sipped her coffee and made a face. "Jesus, how old is this shit?"

"There's fresher down the hall," Lana offered. "Carol just made it."

"Nah, I'm too lazy. This will do for now. I'll just load it up with cream and sugar. And maybe today will be quieter so I can sneak in a nap later."

"Seems like you could use one," Lana said sympathetically.

Just at the moment, Paul had waltzed in. "There you are," he said to Lana, and then acknowledged Kim and Cricket. "Hey, ladies."

"Hey yourself," Kim smiled back.

"Was there something you needed? I had my phone on," Lana said.

"Uh…no. Just wondering where you were." He went to the coffee urn.

"I wouldn't drink any of that if I were you. Carol made fresh down the hall," she warned.

Paul shrugged. "That's okay. I've had worse."

The three women glanced at each other, each giving quizzical looks as he left the room.

"And I thought _my_ boss was weird," Kim finally said.

"He's been terribly odd lately," Lana sighed. "It isn't just looking for me when he didn't even need anything, but there's also been the times I've been working, only to turn around and find him practically staring a hole in me. When I ask if there is something else that he needs, it's always 'Oh, nothing really.' It's just bizarre sometimes."

"Maybe he just likes the companionship," Cricket suggested.

"That's a strange way of showing it," Lana replied.

Kim's phone then buzzed. "Hold that thought, girls," she said, then attended to the call.

"Brian, Jesus, calm down. Don't start tripping out on me again. I'll be down in a few minutes to help you find them. Meanwhile, check your bag; they could be in there and you just overlooked them."

Kim then snapped her phone shut. "Sorry, girls; I have to go. I have a spazzy blond in a crisis because he can't find a pair of his favorite shoes."

"Have fun. Meanwhile, I need to split too before my jailer hunts me down," Cricket said.

"And I need to get back to having a hole stared in me. I'll catch up with you all later," Lana added, before leaving the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Paul stood off to the side, watching as Lana organized the schedule for the coming week. He somehow picked up that watching his secretary was making her a little uneasy, so he would stand where it was likely Lana wouldn't catch him.

He wondered at times what really made her tick; outside the rough road that had led up to her pill addiction and stint in rehab before coming to work for him and the brief things he'd gotten from Denise, Paul didn't really know much about Lana at all.

Sure, they'd talked about some aspects of their lives, but he sensed there were things she still hadn't discussed, but he didn't push it.

And she was so kind, appreciating even the most minor things he'd done for him. Most women could have cared less or thought it was cheesy, but Lana didn't.

She also didn't make jokes or talk shit behind his back while kissing ass to his face like some of the assistants and secretaries of the guys placed higher on the roster did. If _anything_, Lana built him up both to his face and when she discussed him with the other girls.

Paul hadn't even known about it until Denise had asked him one day how Lana was working out.

"She's great," he replied. "I never did thank you properly for that referral."

"Knowing Lana is blending in and not being given a hard time is thanks enough," Denise smiled. "You know, she thinks very well of you."

Paul was shocked. "Yeah?"

"Yes. She thinks you're one of the sweetest guys she's ever met and feels so lucky to be working for you."

He felt his face turn a little red. "Hmm, okay."

"Oh, cut the 'aw shucks' attitude, Paul," Denise chided him. "I happen to agree with her. You have a lot of wonderful qualities, and if girls can't get past the exterior of the glitz and glamor to appreciate the fine man Lana and I see underneath, then it's their damned loss."

"Uh, Dee, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, whatever you like."

He raked a hand through his hair. "Is Lana by any chance seeing anyone?"

Denise was thrown off a little by the question, but didn't show it. "Not to my knowledge. Why?"

"Well, I did want to take her out somewhere. Kind of simple stuff, you know. But I didn't want to interfere if she was seeing a guy."

"Trust me, you won't be interfering with _anyone. _As a matter of fact, Lana hasn't seen anyone since her last relationship ended so badly."

"Dude was that bad, huh?" Lana had never discussed her ex and this was a good time to get the details, even if it was through Denise.

"Do not get me started on that asshole Billy," Denise replied, a touch of steel in her voice. "When he wasn't running around on her or talking down like she was worthless, he treated Lana like his personal property."

"Did he ever…."

"Hit her? No. In spite of all of her issues, Lana would have never stood for that. She'd left earlier if Billy had as much as laid a pinky finger on her. Then again, it would have been the lesser of the two evils, considering the psychological hell he put her through."

Paul didn't know who this dude was, but he wanted to kill the son of a bitch nevertheless.

"Nobody deserves any kind of abuse, Dee," he finally said.

"I know," she nodded. "Still, I think it's great you are taking such an interest in her. But please remember, she's early in her recovery and dealing with old issues from before and during her addiction."

"I will," he grinned. "Thanks, Dee."

"No, _thank you. _You could be the best thing that happened to her in God knows how long."

----------------------------

"My name is Lana, and I am an addict," she spoke up at that evening's meeting.

"Hello, Lana," the group spoke back.

"There is something on my mind tonight being we are on this topic."

"What is that, Lana?" the group leader asked.

She then went into the incidents about "her boss," not giving his name. "He's a great man in general and treats me very well. It's just recently he's done some things that I've found odd."

Another member spoke up. "Are you comfortable with the job overall?"

"Oh yes, " Lana replied. "Like I said, I don't think I've worked for a better person since I left secretarial college. Even my last job before my addiction wasn't this enjoyable. But I am still figuring out these recent quirks. I mean, they're harmless, but I can't help but wonder what is going on in his mind."

"We always say here at the meetings not to sweat the small stuff, Lana," an older man responded. "It's wondering over those small things that played a role in our respective addictions."

"You really think so, Mark?" she asked.

"Of course. You said you like this gentleman and he's great to work for. Every employer is going to have some minor eccentricities, if you will. Have you spoken to him about this?"

Lana sighed. "I've attempted, but he's evasive or changes the subject."

"Then perhaps it's best just to go with it for awhile before you approach him again. By then, he may be more comfortable discussing it."

Lana thought a moment and then smiled. "Maybe so. Thank you, everyone."

-------------------------

"Good meeting, I gather?" Denise asked when Lana came home later.

"Yeah, you could say that. I got a lot of insight this evening."

"Great. And your boss called."

"Did Paul say what he needed?" Lana asked. "It's not like him to call me out at night."

"Actually, I think this is more of a _personal_ matter than a work one."

Lana went to the phone and dialed his number. "Still, this is out of the ordinary."

"Lana, if you should know anything by now, Paul is anything but ordinary, and I have a feeling he's finding you the same way."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"**KIMBERLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" **Brian's loud bellow could be heard several feet away. "I can't find my damn phone!"

Kim giggled, plopping down beside Lana, holding up the lost phone.

"Why don't you just tell him you found it?" Lana asked.

"Because it wasn't lost in the first place. I hid it on me just to watch him trip out."

"Kim, that is terribly cruel."

"What, and it's okay for him to do this kind of shit to _me_? Serves him right for both sitting on Paul's last iPod and hiding my laptop, the little boy bitch."

"Wait, you mean _Paul's_ in on this too?"

Kim laughed harder and nodded. "Whose idea do you think this was to begin with?"

"Good grief; talk about me being left in the dark," Lana said.

"Oh, we pull shit on Chef Boy Are You Short all the time. It's kind of fun to listen to him scream like a little girl when he can't find something or he ends up the butt of a prank."

Lana shook her head. "You too seriously need a better hobby."

"**SO HELP ME GOD, KIM, THIS BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER ONE OF YOURS OR PL'S FUCKING PRANKS!" **Brian yelled louder out in the hallway.

Kim laughed harder, nearly hysterical.

"Well, Denise was right about one thing; there's never a dull day on this job," Lana said.

"Oh, come on, Lana, you never thought about getting in a joke on Paul?" Kim asked.

"No, not really. It would be my rotten luck I'd end up getting fired, which I wouldn't be surprised you may end up getting if you pull these practical jokes all the time."

"Not a chance in hell that will happen. One, slaves have to be sold, and two, Spaz Blond knows he can't keep himself organized without me. Three, he'd have to kill your boss in addition to canning me, so we both would be out of a job."

Paul walked in, seeing both Kim and Lana there, and started laughing.

"You got it?" he asked Kim.

Still giggling, she held up the phone again, giving him a high five with her free hand.

"You two are so mean," Lana said, shaking her head again.

"Hey, it's payback time," Paul said. "That iPod was barely a month old when he sat his fat ass on it. And don't get me started on how he kept hiding Kim's laptop so she couldn't get stuff done."

"Couldn't you just ask him to get you another instead of torturing the poor guy?"

"There you two assholes are!" Brian called, storming in the room staring down Kim and Paul. "Okay, which one of you bitches hid my phone?"

"Your devoted secretary," Lana said, ratting out Kim.

"Lana!" Kim whined.

"Nice to know at least one sensible person is in this room." He held out his hand to Kim. "Give it up."

She handed him the elusive phone. "Spoilsport," she told Lana.

"Sorry to spoil your fun," Lana replied.

"Not a problem, Lana," Brian said. "I'll get both of these dorks when they least expect it."

"Bring it on, Midget," Paul said. "I'm ready for you."

"Me too," Kim smiled evilly.

"If you both will excuse me from all this amusement, I have some work that needs done," Lana said, getting up and leaving. "Meanwhile, you may proceed to kill each other."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"You never did say how your date with the boss went," Cricket said to Lana when Cricket came by later to chat.

Lana shrugged. "It was just lunch. No big deal. Sorry if I don't have any juicy details."

"Wish I had that kind of opportunity," Cricket snorted. "_My_ jackass boss thinks plopping a Wendy's bag on my desk is doing me a favor. Paul takes you somewhere nice. Sure you don't want to trade?"

"No thanks, Paul and his crew make me suffer enough."

"Yeah, I heard about him and Brian's secretary pulling a prank on poor Brian again."

"Well that, along with Brian, Kim, and Drew sniffing Drew's orange pee, among other things. Trust me, I could make a list of the things Sheena and I put up with and still wouldn't be done."

"Good God." Cricket shuddered and made a face.

"It gets better. My boss listens to 'girly' music. _At top volume."_

"Well, you can't complain about having a boring job. So really, what is he like anyway?"

Lana shrugged and smiled. "Just a simple guy with a stupid haircut."

"_Lana!" _Cricket howled. "That's awful!"

"Hey, that's _his _description, not mine. Seriously, though, he's a very nice man, though he could control his temper a little better. When the cable man shut off the internet for a few moments, Paul stomped out of the room yelling, 'Brian, get me a fork, I'm going to KILL HIM!' The poor man was standing right there, _totally petrified." _

"Ouch," Cricket commented.

"Of course, it didn't help matters any when Drew and Kim put all the forks on the patio and Brian tried to hit on the man to win a fifty dollar bet and just to be a total goof. It took me and Sheena both to calm the cable man down and get him out of there safely."

"I thought Paul had a dish. What are they doing heckling the poor cable guy?"

"It rained last night and the satellite fell over. Paul got pissy about it and had me call Comcast to install cable. He can be such a child sometimes."

"Wow, it never ends for him, does it?" Cricket wondered.

"Doesn't seem like it. All day yesterday, I had to hear him whine about his love life, or the lack of one, as it were. Trust me, by the end of the day, I was in _dire _ need of a meeting. I'm a secretary, not a therapist, for heaven's sake."

"They're all little boys in men's bodies, Lana. We girls have to have some therapist in us to a degree. And if he's telling you these things, chances are good he's feeling comfortable with you and trusts you. I've been working with my jackass for almost a year and I couldn't even begin to tell you some stuff about him outside of work, outside of the fact he's an arrogant ass who thinks he's God's gift."

"Well, at least I don't have that problem, though Paul has his assy moments," Lana smiled.

Brian's loud bellow cut in from outside. **"KIMBERLLLLLLLLLLY! YOU FUCKING BITCH!"**

Kim's giggles could be heard further down the corridor, causing Lana to groan.

Sheena poked her head in, spotting Lana. "Here we go again, lass," she said.

Lana rolled her eyes. "I've noticed. All right; let's see what disaster we have to avert this time." She got up from her desk to join Sheena in the hall.

"Have fun, girls," Cricket said. "Meanwhile, I have to get back with the jackass known as Orton."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Where are you?" Lana exclaimed into the phone. "I've been worried for hours!"

Kim had looked up in concern toward the sound of Lana's voice. She began to ask what was going on, but Lana stopped her.

"Me and Brian are, uh, down at the county jail," Paul replied.

"So help me God, this better not be one of your pranks you're trying to play on me," she warned, "or there will be hell to pay once you two get back here."

"Lana, if I was going to pull a prank, it sure as hell wouldn't be from the county jail. Jesus Christ!"

She motioned for Kim to pick up an extension. "What happened?" Lana asked.

"A prank gone bad," Paul replied.

"I should have known," Lana replied with a low groan. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well, we were goofing off at the park, and there was this flag pole. Dipshit Brian decided to place a bet that he could climb all the way to the top of it. Of course, I had to be an asshole and call him on it, especially since I had no idea he was going to do it _naked _and hang his pants once he got to the top! I was trying to get his crazy ass down from there when the cops came by. And as they say, the rest is history."

Lana gave a sigh. "What's the bail? We need to get you two back here before the sites—or even worse, _management_—get hold of all this. The last thing either of you need is a one line 'we wish them luck in future endeavors' placed on the official site. Do you know exactly how many times I have had to cover your ass to Shane? And don't even give me that 'that's what I am paying you for' line."

"Five hundred for each of us," Paul replied. "I should be lucky for not facing murder charges for killing fucking Brian."

"Well, you two need to restrict your pranks to your homes. You have a flight tonight to that house show and I wasn't about to cover up for you if you missed that. Honestly, Paul, this is getting old."

"Save the sermon for _Brian_. All I was doing was trying to get him down and cover his bare ass. He was batshit crazy! So you bailing us or not?"

"I guess five hundred each isn't that bad. Kim and I should be down there in about twenty minutes."

Lana then hung up the phone. "Jesus H. Christ. What did I do to deserve all of this?"

Kim began to laugh.

"It's not funny!" Lana cried.

"Maybe not," Kim replied between giggles, "but the thought of Brian being someone's butt buddy is."

"God, you are pathetic." Lana shook her head before picking up her sweater. "Come on, we have to go round up a thousand in order to free those two idiots. Otherwise, if they didn't have that house show and it were up to me, both of them could sit down there and rot."

--------------------------

After it had taken an hour for the paperwork to go through when Lana and Kim posted the boys' bail; Paul and Brian were released.

Brian came up first, giving Kim a bear hug upon seeing her. "My hero!" he cried.

"Gee, this is a change. Just yesterday, you called me a bitch."

"Yeah, because you put mini firecrackers in my cigarettes, but all is forgiven."

"Well, at least you have some clothes on now," Kim giggled. "We wouldn't want to traumatize anyone else. The poor cops that busted you are probably going to have nightmares for the rest of their lives."

"Very fucking funny."

"The cops aren't the only ones traumatized," Paul said, finally coming in. "I think I still need eye bleach."

He then landed a kiss on Lana, shocking her. "Thank you, my dear. I owe you."

"In more ways than one," she replied. "You're lucky you have a house show tomorrow or you'd still be in the lock up."

"I don't recall paying you to be a nag," he whined.

"I'm not nagging; I was worried about you! I thought you were in an accident or something. Do you know how long I spent calling hospitals and police stations before you finally got in contact with me?"

"Wait…you were _worried about me?"_

"Of course, or don't you pay me for that either?"

Paul cleared his throat. "I guess I could," he said before he took the keys Lana handed over to him and went to get the car.

Brian gave a mischievous grin. "I have to be the first to tell you, Red, that I think good old PL has it for you. _Bad."_

Lana gave him a quizzical look.

"He's right, you know," Kim agreed. We've both seen how Paulie looks at you, and honestly, I doubt he'd put up with any other woman talking to him the way you did. Yeah, I think someone likes you _very much."_

Lana shook her head. "Go get in the car."

She then turned to Brian. "As for _you_, scratch climbing flag poles naked off your list from now on, or at least do it alone and when it isn't broad daylight outside."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"I can't believe we're snowed in until morning," Kim complained, staring out the hotel window.

"And I can't believe you booked a room with two beds for _four _people," Lana shook her head, not looking up from her book.

"It's all they had left," Kim protested. "And I even used my AAA discount so we still got it dirt cheap."

"Look, why don't you girls share one bed and me and PL will take the other?" Brian suggested.

"Like hell!" Paul spoke up. "I got dibs on the sofa."

"Why not? It isn't like we haven't shacked up before." Brian made kissing noises toward his partner.

"God, you are a sick freak," Kim replied.

"Hey, I _pay _ you to put up with me being a sick freak."

"Yeah, _slave wages."_

"Something tells me this is going to be an interesting night," Lana said. "Me with three people that have totally lost their minds."

Paul was messing around with the music channel, trying to find something to interest him before finding a good classic station .

"Aw, dude, you're not going to torture us with that emo shit again, are you?" Brian asked.

Lana looked up. "And what exactly is _wrong _with classics from the sixties?"

"Yeah," Kim agreed. "Better than that Nickelodeon crap you expose me to all day long."

"Looks like you're outnumbered, dude," Paul grinned.

Brian flipped him off in response.

"How many times I have to tell you I don't row that boat?" Paul asked.

"Anyway," Kim spoke up again, gathering her sleepwear. "I got first dibs on the bathroom."

"This could take awhile," Brian warned.

"Bite me, Brian," Kim shot back before heading to the bathroom.

"I'd rather bite PL," he grinned.

"Good God," Lana groaned. "Here we go again."

"Dude, there's ladies present!" Paul said, making a face.

"Where? Oh, sorry about that, Red. I thought you meant the creature from the black lagoon that's hogging the john."

"I heard that!" Kim bellowed from the bathroom. "Remember that the next time you want something and won't get off your lazy ass to get it."

"Brian, that's a terrible thing to call her. Kim does a lot for you," Lana spoke up again.

"She does a lot of shit _to _me too."

"Not that you don't ask for it most of the time," Paul interjected. "Really, man, you need a better hobby than torturing your secretary."

"Like you never drive Red here crazy," Brian laughed. "I bet she could tell stories."

"Actually, Paul's not all that bad," Lana said, "when I'm not still trying to figure him out after all of this time."

"Ha! Nobody ever has PL figured out. I'm a very confusing book to read," Paul grinned.

"Yeah, you're confusing all right. Then again, I always liked a challenge," Lana responded.

"Get in line, sister," he laughed.

"Don't flatter yourself," Lana retorted. "I'm not _that _ impressed."

"HA! You tell him, Red!" Brian cackled. "Dude just got owned by his secretary!"

"Don't you have something to do?" Paul asked, frowning as he watched Lana make a phone call.

"Yeah, I want to clean up, but Kimberly's hogging the bathroom."

"Shower together and save water," Paul quipped.

"Now who's the sick fucker?"

"Winter weather advisory until seven tomorrow," Lana said, changing the subject and hanging up the phone. "An additional two to four inches of snow is expected."

"Christ," Paul complained. "Which means we'll either be stuck here with another day's room charge or at the airport for who knows how long."

"Hey, don't complain to me; I didn't ask for all of this."

"I know you didn't," he said, realizing he'd been harsh. "But I'm not used to this cold shit, as you can tell."

Lana nodded and smiled. "Yes, sixty degrees to you is freezing, and it's open the windows and let in the breeze for me. I guess that's the price you pay for getting a Northern native for a secretary."

"And it's been worth every nickel," he grinned back.

Just then, Kim had come out of the bathroom, dressed in a T shirt and sweats. "Next!"

"Thank God," Brian groaned. "Now I can take my exit from this love fest."

Kim stared at her boss' back as he headed into the bathroom. "What was that about?"

"Who the hell knows?" Paul shook his head. "I guess we aren't supposed to compliment the help."

"Figures." She yawned. "I think I'm going to take advantage of one of these beds now that I'm clean and comfortable, and then check the email while His Highness is showering."

"That reminds me," Lana said, reaching down for her laptop. "There's some things I should be checking on too."

"I'm bored," Paul began to whine.

Lana rolled her eyes as she checked some sites and email. "Are we going to go through this again? You have to be the most bored person in this country."

"Could always throw in a movie," Kim suggested with a smile. "There's a whole stash of them over there in the green bag."

"Thanks, Kimbo," he replied, then glanced at Lana. "Killjoy."

"Five minutes ago, I was worth every nickel," she said, not resisting the urge to laugh. "Now go pick out your movie. I'm a little bored too."

--------------------------

The next morning, the sounds of the television caused Lana to stir; the last thing she had remembered was settling into the bed next to Kim and they had been watching some odd movie Paul had chosen and was engrossed in while he was spread on the sofa.

As she slowly started to come around, Lana thought she had felt someone pressed against her.

Thinking nothing of it, she began to turn around, finding Kim in the next bed, Brian sawing logs on the sofa…._and her own boss next to her in bed._

"**OH MY GOD!" **Lana screamed, jumping out of bed. _"Paul!"_

"Huh?" He had barely roused, and then realized what was going on.

Oh shit! Paul thought, now wide awake.

"Lana, I swear to Christ I didn't try anything," he protested, showing he had been dressed in boxer shorts from the night before. "See?"

"You were all but spooning me!" she cried. "And put some clothes on; were you brought up in a barn?"

The ruckus had woken both Kim and Brian, both of them looking at the other pair before them.

"What's going on?" Kim asked.

"When I went to sleep last night, _you_ were beside me. How the hell did _he _ get in bed with me?"

"You were having some weird nightmare where you were making some noises," Kim said. "He wanted to stay with you for a couple of minutes to see if you were okay, so I moved over to the spare bed and Bri the couch. I guess all of us went to sleep after that."

"I swear, I didn't do _anything else_," Paul protested again.

"Still, good God." Lana shuddered.

"Aw, man, and to think I missed the big love scene," Brian joked before Kim threw a sock at him.

"Relax, Lana. It was innocent. You guys fell asleep in the same bed, and unlike some other people I know, Paul can be a total gentleman," Kim reassured her.

"Fuck you too, Kimberly," Brian stuck out his tongue.

"No thanks, you aren't my type."

Lana cleared her throat, still a little uneasy she'd woken beside Paul. "I need a shower. Kim, can you get the weather report for us and see how the flights are running?"

"No problem," Kim nodded, going for the phone. "No guarantees, but maybe we'll be lucky and get out of here today at a decent hour."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_I should have known better  
Than to let you go alone,  
It's times like these  
I can't make it on my own  
Wasted days, and sleepless nights  
And I can't wait to see you again_

_I find I spend my time  
Waiting on your call,  
How can I tell you, baby  
My back's against the wall  
I need you by my side  
To tell me it's alright,  
cos I don't think I can take anymore_

_Is this love that I'm feeling,  
Is this the love, that I've been searching for  
Is this love or am I dreaming,  
This must be love,  
cos its really got a hold on me,  
A hold on me..._

"_Is This Love" by Whitesnake_

"Are you still on what happened with Lana last weekend?" Denise asked Paul the following Tuesday. "Come on, things happen. I'm sure she knows by now that it was all innocent and nothing happened. She's probably even laughed it off by now."

"Well, she wouldn't be the first girl to laugh after a night with PL," he pouted.

"Oh, don't even go there, mister!" Denise chided him.

"It's true," he said. "I'm really not that good; I usually mess something up. And this time, I didn't even do _anything _and I think my own secretary hates me now."

"I can assure that Lana does not hate you. If she did, she'd quit by now. Paul, really, you have nothing to worry about."

"I just don't want her to think I'm some kind of pervert."

"She doesn't. Trust me on this. And why are you so concerned about all of this anyway?"

"Uh…." Paul began, then cleared his throat.

"Wait a minute," Denise cut in, as if she'd gotten a revelation. "This goes further than business, doesn't it?"

"Well, I…." He felt his face turn red.

"I knew it!"

"Oh shit," he groaned. "You aren't going to bag on me about this the way Spanky did about the thing last weekend, are you?"

"Why would I do that? I think it's a great thing. Look, have you even talked to her about this?"

"Ummm…..not really."

"So what are you waiting for, a special invitation? She's not a mind reader, Paul."

"I just don't want to make an ass out of myself or end up getting burned again."

"Lana isn't like that, honey. You ever think she's as leery as you are after what she went through with Billy? And believe me, _you_ are a far improvement over that pond scum."

"You honestly think…" Paul began.

Denise nodded and smiled. "All you have to do is talk to her."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"I think you're just too chickenshit to tell Red," Brian said. "Did_anything_ Denise told you even sink in?"

"Tell what to _whom?_" Kim asked, walking into the room.

"PL here is in love," Brian told her.

"Dude, come on now," Paul said, his face feeling hot.

"Sweet!" Kim replied, breaking out into a huge smile.

"It's Lana, only he won't fess up to her, or to me, for that matter." Brian gave a cheesy grin.

"Even sweeter!" Kim was ecstatic. Who better for her friend than Paul?

"Are you two morons done now having fun at my expense?" Paul asked, a little annoyed.

"I think it's cool. Come on, you haven't told Lana?" Kim wondered. "It's been obvious since the first day she started working for you that you had a thing for her."

"I did not have a 'thing' for her."

"Then how come you turn sixty shades of red every time her name comes up and practically stare her down while she's working?" Brian asked.

"There was also last weekend when you insisted on staying on the bed with her when she was having that dream," Kim added. "yet you don't have a 'thing' for her. I was born at night, Paulie, but not _last _night."

Brian nodded. "Dude, just do what Denise suggested. What do you have to lose really? We may be a bit biased here, but Red's a further step up from the barfly you mooned the hell over for awhile. The only difference between her and Red is that Red isn't a slut."

"And Lana ranks considerably higher on the intelligence scale," Kim added.

"And anybody that puts up with all of your shit besides me and Kimberly here can't be all bad."

"Like I haven't put up with any shit of yours over the last ten years, Spanky," Paul retorted. "Anyway, I don't want to make an ass out of myself. I mean, hitting on my own secretary? Jesus."

"You wouldn't be hitting on her," Kim pointed out. "Look, even if Lana doesn't return the ardor, at least you were being honest and getting it out. Then again, you don't have to blurt it out at once."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Kim?" Brian asked.

"Hold it," Paul said, shushing his partner. "What did you mean 'not all at once,' Kimbo?"

"Well, you can do some little things here and there until you're comfortable enough to talk to her. I mean, they don't have to be elaborate things; we all know Lana is a very simple person, just like you're a simple guy."

Paul thought a moment. "Flowers?"

Kim nodded, grinning. "That's a good start. Yellow roses; she loves them."

"Wow, this could be easier than I thought. Thanks, guys."

Paul's phone then buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, he recognized Denise's number from her home, wondering what she wanted.

"Sorry to break up the party," he said, "but it looks like Dee is beckoning me for something, It could be important."

"No problem, man," Brian grinned, then high fived Kim. "Looks like our work here is done anyway."

-------------------------

"Damn it, Denise, of all days they have to shut off the water to repair the local pipeline," Lana said. "No shows this weekend, and I was looking forward to curling up somewhere besides some strange hotel room for once."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Denise agreed. "Too bad Carol's place is too small or we could both crash there till the water's back on."

"It's fine," Lana nodded. "Won't be the first time I had to go to a hotel."

A light bulb went off in Denise's head. "Who says you have to go to a hotel?"

"Now where else will I go while the water's off, Denise?" Lana shot her a look.

"I may have something else in mind. Let me make a phone call or two."

"Oh, this should be a barrel of laughs," Lana shook her head. "Anyway, while you're plotting and scheming with whatever, I'm going to pack a bag and make a reservation just in case."

--------------------------

"Wow, Dee, that kind of sucks," Paul said when Denise explained the situation.

"I know, and I hate to leave Lana out in the cold, but Carol's place isn't big enough for all of us."

"No, but _mine _ is. I have a spare bedroom, remember?"

"Now how did you guess I was going to ask you to put up Lana for a couple of days?"

"I have a mind reading talent," Paul joked. "And it isn't a problem if you want to bring her over. For all Lana's done for me, I can at least return one favor."

"I knew I could count on you, as always," Denise said. "And if I were you, this would be the perfect opportunity to have that little talk with her."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel_

_Those three words  
Are said too much  
They're not enough_

_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

"_Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol_

"You really didn't have to do this," Lana said when she arrived at Paul's the following afternoon. "I'd been fine at a hotel."

"I didn't have to, but I _wanted _to," Paul said, taking her bag. "Besides, we stay in too many damn hotels anyway without you putting yourself out when you don't have to."

"I know this was Denise's idea, but thank you," she said.

"Who says I didn't have a part in it?" he grinned. "You don't think I was going to leave my favorite employee in a place with no water, did you?"

"I'm your _only _employee except your cleaning woman," Lana pointed out.

"Yeah, and you're a lot easier on the eyes. I'll put your bag in the room. Go get comfortable."

"All right. Thanks."

Lana sat on the sofa and studied the surroundings before her. It wasn't a fancy place, but it certainly suited him to a T, she thought.

"You want to go to dinner?" Paul called out, breaking her thoughts.

"Sure," she replied, "but I need to change first."

"Don't bother; you look fine. Besides, we're only going to Buster's, so you don't need anything fancy anyway."

Lana smiled. "I can live with that."

"Good, I'm driving," he said, silently hoping the flowers would be there by the time they came back. He'd already informed the next door neighbors to accept them while he and Lana were gone.

--------------------------

Lana had immensely enjoyed herself during dinner; she hadn't realized exactly how hungry she was and had practically cleaned her plate.

"About time you ate _something," _Paul commented, laughing.

"What? I eat!" she giggled back, pointing to her hips. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Not really."

"I think you need an eye examination then," Lana smiled.

"Maybe I do, but you're looking very good these days." Oh Christ, that was corny, he thought. Nice going, Mr. Smooth.

"Well, thank you. That's very nice."

"Lana," Paul began, clearing his throat. "I don't want you to just think of me as the guy that issues your paychecks. I mean, can I be honest here? In the time since you've started working, I've become more comfortable being around you; I don't know, like I've known you before."

"In another life, perhaps?" Lana asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah, maybe that's it. Anyway, it's great you're staying for a couple of days so we can know each other on a more personal level without those goofs Spanky and Kimbo around."

"I thought all of you guys were close. And I don't mind Kim. She's a very good friend of mine."

"We are," Paul nodded. "But even Spank gets to be a pain in the ass once in awhile. I need someone _sane _around for a change."

"Sane. I'm not sure if I'd describe myself as that, especially what I had been through the last couple of years."

"Your addiction and Billy," he stated.

Lana gave him a shocked look. "How did you know about my ex? I never mentioned him to you." She then paused. "Oh, right. You talk to Denise. She must have filled you in on that."

Paul nodded. "She did, and for all it's worth, the guy is a total asshole for treating you like that. He's lucky I didn't know you back then."

"Billy played a big role in my addictions," Lana clarified. "He and my old job were parts where the Valium came in. The painkillers were after I screwed up my knee. I guess at the time it was easier to run to a pill bottle than face the situations head on. But no more."

"It couldn't have been easy for you to deal with all of that."

Lana shook her head. "It wasn't, and it wasn't only kicking the pills; there was also facing the issues that led up to my addiction in the first place. Rehab and my meetings helped me a lot, and so does having good friends like Denise and the other girls. And since we're being honest with each other, I didn't even want to reveal that I was a recovering addict to you at first. Frankly, I didn't think you would think much of me at all, being I was a 'pillhead' and not exactly the conventional Barbie type like Kim and even Cricket are. I was shocked that you hired me on the spot."

Paul gave her a look. "Did you honestly think I _wouldn't_ approve of what you really looked like or what your past was? Lana, I realize your ex was an ass and there's guys in this company that are into that superficial stuff, but I'm not one of them. I've even had my share of shitty relationships, flings, whatever the fuck you want to call them. Anyway, you got hired on a high recommendation from Dee, whom I happen to respect greatly, not to mention your qualifications. I wasn't looking for arm candy or a model. I figured if I was going end up with a secretary, I wanted one with a _brain _ and knew what the hell she was doing. Hence, we got stuck with each other."

"I wouldn't exactly call it 'stuck' from my end," Lana smiled. "Actually, it's been quite a good experience, at least the majority of the time."

He brightened. "Really?"

"Yes." Lana sipped her iced tea.

"And here I thought you were disgusted with my happy ass."

"Why would I be disgusted? Sometimes, I thought you boys were a little….._bizarre, _but I wouldn't say I was disgusted."

"Jesus, I think we just found out a little more about each other," he grinned at her.

"I guess we did," she agreed.

The check arrived and Lana went for it, but Paul stopped her.

"I'm already staying at your place for a couple of days; at least let me pay for something," she said.

"Nothing doing," he said, "this is my treat. Plus I don't want to get the reputation of being a cheapskate boss." He winked at her.

"Like that would ever happen," she laughed. "You can be a lot of things, but cheap isn't one of them, at least my idea of cheap anyway."

When they arrived back at his apartment, Paul sent her ahead while he checked with the neighbors to see if the delivery had arrived. It had, and he sneaked back into the apartment while Lana was in the bathroom, finally finding a vase and sitting the dozen yellow roses on the table where she would easily spot them.

Lana had come out, now barefoot, and saw the flowers immediately while he was getting them sodas out of the kitchen.

"What's this?" she asked.

"What's what?"

"Someone send you flowers?"

"Actually, those came for _you_," he said.

"_Me?"_

"Yeah. Read the card."

"All right."

Lana had pulled the card out of its tiny envelope and stared at the writing printed on it:

_I was just reflecting on our friendship and wanted to let you know how much it means to me. Your thoughtfulness always makes my days a little brighter, and problems seem a whole lot smaller. Thanks for being you and all you have done for me, though I may not always be the easiest guy in the world--Paul._

He came out with the sodas, trying to hide his grin. "Anyone we know?" he teased.

"Very funny," she said, smiling and shaking her head before coming over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you. They're beautiful. But how did you know what to get? Oh wait; it must have been Denise again."

"Actually, it was Kim this time," he confessed.

"Nice. Well, at least you took the time. It's rather refreshing to see a guy do that."

"Glad you approve, but be warned, I'm not exactly Mr. Excitement."

"I'm not exactly Ms. Excitement myself, so I think we'll get along very well."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The day had been long, but it wasn't finished yet. Lana was sitting at her computer screen staring, not really knowing what she was looking at. She was tired and vulnerable, but she needed to get this done if everything was to be in order for the coming week.

She sensed someone was in the room with her, but she knew it couldn't be so, but she continued working, shaking her head.

Then she felt it, the ever so feathery light touch of fingers at the base of her neck. Her body shuddered as if awakened from a sleep. The touch was light and soothing, the hands, gentle and caring. She just sat there not knowing what to say or do as she realized this was not a dream but the hands of Paul. The touch and the feeling felt good to her inside and while she knew it was not right; she did not want it to stop.

The touch, which began so soft and gentle, turned into a relaxing massage. She sat there reveling in the feel of this touch. It was a part of her life that had been missing for a while, the feel of human skin on skin and all the warmth and feelings that it can bring.

No words were spoken, none needed to be. While he also knew this was not suppose to happen, he had seen her weaknesses in trying to cope with all that was happening around her. He was not feeling sorry for her, he was feeling an overwhelming need to protect and comfort. He was sure this was the way to express it.

So slowly, carefully, as Paul sneaked into the room and upon Lana, he first touched her ever so lightly. He felt the shudder of her body, and the urge to hold her became overwhelming, but he held back. He knew to make this work, he would have to go slowly and cautiously, or she might climb into her shell and then he would be of no comfort at all to her.

He lingered with his fingers on her neck. First massaging lightly, and then slowly gradually deepened the massage. He could feel her start to come alive under his touch, and he could also feel the fires awaken in him. It was not the feelings he had expected, for he had no intention of this being any more that a friend comforting a friend.

As Lana sat there, she let her mind wander to a peaceful place she had never been before. She was free of all that held her down, free to feel all the feelings that she felt were buried deep inside her and had maybe even died.

But she knew now, that was not the case. As his fingers continued to massage her neck, her body started to respond, not in anyway he would notice, thank goodness. She didn't want to feel this way, for she did not want to lose a friend or the respect of her boss in the process, but she also did not want to lose what she was feeling inside at the time.

He sat down behind and continued to massage her neck. He felt sure he had her full attention and the glaring computer screen was nothing more than a slight annoyance.

As he continued to massage her neck, he very gently leaned over and gave her a whisper soft kiss on the head. From the explosion that occurred inside him, he would have thought he struck gold. There was something about this woman that made him feel quite defenseless.

Lana felt that little butterfly kiss on the top of her head. That one jester sent a wave of emotion through her like no other. She felt happiness, hope, and desire, a desire that burned deep within her, a feeling like she had never felt before, not even during that volatile time with Billy. It scared her right down to her bones. She never knew she could have a feeling like that for someone, after all, she was afraid to lose the friendship, and mostly afraid to lose herself, or maybe find herself once again.

He could tell from her reactions, that she was conflicted, he wasn't sure how to proceed next. He kept massaging her neck and absentmindedly started moving down her back. He did not want to rush things, yet there was an underlying fire in him that needed to be tamed. He needed to feel her, all of her, but he must proceed slowly or he would not get the fire put out in himself. As he continued to massage her neck and back, he leaned in again and planted ever go gentle kisses on her neck.

He knew at once from her reaction, that she was feeling some of the same feelings he was. With those kisses, her whole body shuddered and a tiny gasp came from her. He knew now that with time, he would have her in the most intimate way a man could. He also knew, that once it happened, it would be an experience he would never forget.

As she sat there enjoying the neck rub, Paul began to take his hands on a perilous journey. He slipped his hands further down her back and under her shirt. When he felt her skin, it was like feeling silk beneath his fingers. His fingers burned to feel more. She didn't stop him, so he continued his journey up her back until he came to an encumbrance. He had a decision to make now, should he stop here and walk out of the room, or should he go on and learn what heaven is all about. He wasn't sure which path to take.

As she felt his hands move down further, she felt the material of her shirt give way. His hands were moving up her back. What an incredible feeling it was. That feeling of his cautious, yet curious fingers on her back, and the feeling of flesh on flesh contact, it was almost more than she could bear. It took every ounce of her being to keep a clear head and she was losing the battle. As she felt his hands work up her back, she felt his hesitation at as he reached her bra strap.

This was the moment of truth, will she stop him or allow him to go on?

Lana felt he was having the same feeling too. Even though she knew she should stop it here and now, she had no desire to do that. The emotions she was feeling were too new and too wonderful to stop what was happening.

He perceived from her reactions that she wanted what he did so he took it to the next step. With fumbling fingers, he managed to unhook her bra. He could tell by the way it let loose, that her breasts were happy to be free.

As he sat there holding her, he fingers began to wander. They wandered up her front towards her neck and down towards her most personal areas. He stopped in-between to behold two of the most beautiful breasts he had ever felt. Though somewhat saggy with age, he still felt they were perfect. They told the story of a woman who had experienced life's' trials and tribulations. It made him feel that much more special that she wanted to share this part of her with him.

Paul turned her around in the chair and for that first time since this started their eyes met. He saw a hunger and a need in her eyes that he only hoped that he could meet and she wouldn't be disappointed when they were done. He kissed her gently on the lips, as a way of telling her it would all be ok, that he would be gentle, tender, and loving in this shared experience. She kissed him back and he knew this was the right thing to do.

He began to kiss Lana deeper and with more longing. Their tongues met in the middle and he knew he had to have her. It had to be tonight, and even if it never happened again, he would feel satiated. He only hoped he could bring her pleasure the way she was bringing it to him.

When he stripped the top of her naked, she felt embarrassment. It was not the young, svelte body this man was used to. Lana was afraid that once he looked at her, he would run away and not look back, so she didn't want to turn around and spoil the illusion.

But she had no choice, he slowly spun the chair around and then he saw her. But he didn't run, instead he stayed and gave her the most tender kiss she had ever received. Her heart ached with joy to know this man, this friend would accept her as she was, with all her flaws, and still want her. She kissed him back with a passion she couldn't yet understand and didn't want to try. She was in it now for it all and there was no looking back.

As they continued to kiss, his hands wandered over her breasts, caressing them lovingly. His kisses worked down the nape of her neck. He could feel her body responding to his kisses and his touch. Slowly and gently he pulled her up and started moving her towards the bedroom. Once in there, he closed the door behind him.

She continued to kiss him, hold him and caress him as they stood in the bedroom together. Then with shaky fingers, she unbuckled the belt he was wearing and unzipped his pants. She was surprised to find he had no underwear on, as all of him came springing out. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Once all his clothes were off, she delighted in the shear beauty of his body. As with her, his had flaws too, but she didn't notice them. They were all part of who and what he was and they only added character to him and did not detract from the whole man. Yes, she was seeing the world through a different perspective and she was enjoying it..

But now it was Paul's turn. He wanted to see this beautiful woman in all her glory. He slowly unbuckled her pants, while kissing her on the lips and neck. The zipper came down without a hitch and the pants gently slipped to the floor. She stepped out of them for him. He held her tight against him so he could feel her the whole length of his body, but something was still missing.

He lovingly drew his hands down her body and slowly started removing her underwear. She shuddered slightly; he thought it was from the excitement as he removed them. He then held her close to try to make their bodies feel as one. It was a good feeling, a great feeling, to have all that warm moist skin touching.  
He then slowly led her over to the bed. He laid her down, then lay down next to her. He began to kiss her. Slowly at first, but then the intensity began to build. He was fighting for control again and having a tough time keeping it, but he would manage it somehow. As he was kissing her, his hands started to wander all over her body.

The excitement, passion, and fire were building. He gently took her head and brought it back up to his mouth. Together they caressed each other until the hunger climbed ever higher. At last when the desire consumed them, they had to quench their appetite.

As gently as he could, Paul climbed on top of her. They just lay there for several moments enjoying the feeling of their bodies together, realizing that they were about to reach that final pinnacle. Then slowly, carefully he slipped his manhood into her and again just lay there for a moment. Feeling himself inside her was ecstasy, something more powerful than he had ever known. For her, he filled her up inside and brought gratification she had never known.

Slowly and purposefully, their bodies began to move. The movement was at first awkward, trying to find just the right rhythm for their bodies together. Gradually, they reached that plateau and they began to move as one, back and forth, in and out. As the intensity increased, so did their movement, until soon, they were both moaning and sighing in shear delight of the event.

Lana rose to levels she had never experienced before and he came along on her high. In a fervent pitch, the passion melded and they came at the same time, creating a fire that was hard to extinguish.

When the fire was finally put out, they were both spent, physically and emotionally. They lay there together for the rest of the night, he holding her, she holding him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_I get weak when I look at you  
Weak when we touch  
I can't speak when I look in your eyes  
I get weak when you're next to me  
Weak from this love  
I can't speak when I look in your eyes _

_--"I Feel Weak," by Belinda Carlisle_

Kim rounded the corner down the hall Monday morning and found Brian talking to Denise. Both caught sight caught sight of her and were about to ask Kim if she had seen Lana or Paul, when a familiar cloud of auburn hair rounded the corner.

"Morning everyone!" Lana said cheerfully. "You too, Brian," she teased, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Whoa!" he grinned widely. "Someone must have had one hell of a weekend with the boss."

"You could say that."

"Damn, Red, did you wear PL out that bad? He hasn't even come in yet, and he usually beats you."

"Brian!" Denise exclaimed, barely able to keep from laughing.

"What? Inquiring minds want to know."

"Yeah, well your mind is a bit _too _inquisitive," Kim pointed out.

"If you _must_ know, Paul had trouble starting the car earlier," Lana explained.

"Uh huh. Well, all righty then." He gave a huge, knowing grin.

"Paul should be along in a few minutes," Lana finished, giving Brian a look.

Kim rolled her eyes, and then dragged Brian away by the shirt sleeve. "Come on, doofus; we need to go over your schedule for next week."

"Aw gee, and I wanted to hear all the details."

"Too bad. Besides, Lana is a _lady, _and ladies don't kiss and tell."

Lana and Denise watched them go down the hall until they were out of earshot before having their own conversation.

"So I am guessing the weekend went well with him?" Denise asked.

"Let's just say I hated the idea of the water being turned back on," Lana smiled. "Denise, the whole weekend was beautiful."

"Question is now, will you be able to incorporate your work relationship into all of this?"

Lana nodded. "I think I can. He's always been a challenging guy to figure out."

"I won't argue there. But I always suspected he had a thing for you from day one."

"Well, now you know for sure."

"As do you. And speak of the devil," Denise smiled, gesturing toward Paul coming toward them, "your prince has arrived."

---------------------------

"The bathroom is down the hall," Kim said, wrinkling her nose when Brian let go a rampant fart. "What the hell crawled up in you and _died_ anyway?"

"Two words, Kimberly," he grinned, holding something up in a fast food wrapper. "Breakfast burrito."

"Ugh," she replied, making another face. "I should have gone to work for your partner when the opportunity was there."

"What, you don't think _he _ doesn't eat breakfast burritos or fart? Oh wait, you're thinking about him getting laid this past weekend when Red stood over. That's all right; chicks always did imagine PL naked. Hell, even _dudes_ like to picture him that way too."

"Paul would also probably be less of a headache to work for. And how do _you _ know he slept with Lana anyway?"

"Come on, did you see her this morning? I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but it doesn't take rocket science to figure out Red got some from PL."

"Well, whether they did or not is _their_ business," Kim responded.

"And mine," Brian grinned. "I'm going to go see if anyone knows the juicy gossip."

-------------------------

"Paul," Lana warned as he kissed her neck from behind. "Down, boy. We're at work now, remember?"

"You weren't complaining last night," he said, not letting up.

"Seriously, I know we're in love, but you need to tone it down in certain domains, especially with nosy people around."

"I'm bored," he whined.

"And you're not starting that shit again."

"Want to sneak off for some lunch time fun?" he asked.

"Paul, it's nine thirty in the morning."

"So?"

"I just ate breakfast two hours ago—"

"In bed," he growled in her ear. "And we can do a repeat for lunch."

"Good grief," Lana continued. "Now I'm trying to get some work done. Really, cut it out."

"Boy, you can be fiery when you want to be, which can be a _good _ thing; a chick with no spice is nothing to PL."

"You certainly have that right," she replied, making a face.

"Gee, baby, did I really tire you out that bad all weekend?"

"Don't flatter yourself, mister," Lana teased before they were interrupted.

"HI, PL!" Brian exclaimed as he barged into the room, practically deafening both Paul and Lana. Paul groaned, surprised by the verbal attack by his partner.

"What the hell do you want, Spanky?" he asked, annoyed.

"Dude, what kind of way is that to greet your partner and best buddy?"

"We're trying to get some work done here."

"Oh, I'm sure you're getting some work done, all right." He plopped onto the table where Lana was working. "So what's happening?"

Lana shoved him off. "Tables are for glasses, not for asses," she said. "And I was trying to arrange lunch for the boss here."

"It's not even ten o'clock, dude," he said to Paul. "Are you really _that _horny? Bathroom's down the hall if you want a quickie."

"Wow, Brian, nice comment with ladies present. Unlike you, I prefer to take my dates to dinner first."

Lana couldn't help but giggle at the exchange. Never a dull moment with these two, she thought.

"Anyway, since I'm not going to get any juicy details, I'll go back to terrorizing Kimberly. I'll see you later, PL," Brian said, smiling at the couple. "I'll leave you love birds alone."

"Thank Christ," Paul groaned once Brian was gone, then stared back at Lana. "Now where were we?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days  
And the people I meet always go their separate ways  
Sometimes you tell the day  
By the bottle that you drink  
And times when you're alone all you do is think_

_--"Wanted Dead or Alive," by Bon Jovi_

Lana gave Paul a gentle poke. "Wake up, sleeping beauty," she teased.

"Huh? Shit, sorry about that. Were you saying something?"

"Not really, just getting things in order for the house shows this coming weekend and of course, next Monday night too."

Paul groaned. "I don't even see the point in even leaving the house on Monday nights anymore."

Oh shit, here we go again, Lana, she thought.

"It's part of your job, and you love your job, remember?"

Paul rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I really enjoy sitting on my ass backstage for three or four hours every week or taping _Heat. _This time last year, Spanky and I were tag champions for almost a year, and now we're stuck with this shit. Fuck shit fuck, I hate being a jobber/_Heat_ wrestler."

"Speaking of the devil, where is Brian this morning anyway? I'm surprised Kim hasn't come in here screaming for him."

"Your guess is good as mine. Probably being equally pissed off somewhere. I got to sit on my ass backstage and he got maybe a two minute segment of being in Show's posse. Woohoo, big career move."

"Look, I know it can be frustrating," Lana said, putting her arms around his neck, "but you had slow and jobber moments before all of this too. As much as it may have also driven you crazy then, you hung in there and it eventually paid off. Don't even _think_ about giving up this time, because you never know what's around the corner."

"Release notice?" he guessed.

"Don't even think like _that_, mister!"

"At the rate I've been rolling lately, it's only a matter of time, but I guess you're stuck with me nevertheless."

"Listen, I know it's frustrating, but let me tell you something right now. Whether you're a reigning champion or a jobber, I don't give a damn. I love you and I'm sticking by you until you're totally sick of me." She kissed his hair. "I mean it."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Do you honestly think I'd be here if I was only concerned about the pay? You are a delight to work for."

"Even when I'm a pain in the ass?"

"Even then. Trust me, I could be working for your partner and tearing my hair out. I'm surprised _Kim_ has some sanity left."

He smiled. "Did I tell you today that I love you?"

"Only a hundred times," Lana replied, "but I never get tired of hearing it."

"Morning, darlings!" Brian's voice echoed in the corridor before he stuck his head in. "You too, PL."

"Jesus, you're alive," Paul said.

"Yeah, considering last night sucked ass."

"At least _you _got on TV."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Yippee, for about two or three whole minutes, and I didn't do anything except stand outside the ring and look like a dipshit. Wow, man, am I so at the height of my career or what? Why the fuck do we bother again?"

"You boys love your work and you know it," Lana replied.

"Oh yeah. Right. Anyway, either of you seen Kimberly?"

"Not yet. I'm shocked she hasn't tried to track you down," Lana said.

"Kimbo's probably enjoying the peace and quiet while she can before you drive her to the loony bin," Paul added.

"Ha ha ha. And fuck you too, PL."

"Good God, and I thought _Paul_ was like a bear with a sore ass this morning," Lana sighed.

"Sorry, Red. I need some coffee. I was hoping Kim could go on a run for me."

"You have two feet and hands that aren't broken. If you can do it or get it yourself, don't you think you should?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, but that's what I pay _Kimberly _for."

"Jesus Christ, Spanky. She's a secretary, not your personal slave."

"Hey, I must be doing something right for her to stick with me for a year and a half."

"Yeah, nobody else wanted the job of putting up with your goofy ass."

They then heard Kim in the corridor talking to someone, causing Brian to perk up.

"**KIMBERLY! **Think you can make a run to Starbucks for your man?" he called out.

"Gee, Brian, why don't you just wait until I barely get in the damn door?"

"Because I'm dying here."

"Good, I'll get right on planning the funeral."

"Bitch."

"Ho."

"See what the hell I put up with?" Brian whined to Lana and Paul.

"That isn't even half of what _she _has to tolerate," Paul deadpanned, "and that's between the 300 days a year I have to put up with your ass."

"Thanks, PL, I love you too," Brian grinned.

Kim stuck her head in. "Okay, dumb ass, now that I have important business out of the way, what do you want from Starbucks?"

"The usual shit, and a piece of biscotti if they have any."

She then smiled over at the other two. "Hi, guys. Can I also get you something?"

"My usual too, Kimbo," Paul replied. "I'll make it easy on you."

"Just regular coffee for me," Lana added.

"Shit, you could get that down the hall, Red," Brian said. "Come on, live a little."

"Yeah, like I'd let any secretary of mine drink that fucking rotgut down the hall," Paul said. "Who the hell knows how long it's sat there, especially days when Carol didn't make it."

"Wow, you've gotten generous lately. Hey, Kim drinks it and she's still breathing."

"That's because your cheap ass rarely takes me anywhere," Kim retorted.

"Fine, get yourself something while you're at Starbucks, Kimberly."

"Fantastic! This one will go in the books! Anyway, I should be back in about twenty. You know the lines this time of the morning."

"And make sure the biscotti isn't a hundred years old this time," Brian added.

"Yes, Your Highness," Kim shot back before she left.

"How come you got the _nice _ girl and I ended up with a mouthy heathen?" he asked Paul.

"Oh come on, dude, you're nuts about Kimbo and you know it. You wouldn't have kept her around if she was that bad."

"I have to agree," Lana added, nodding.

"Come to think of it, she does have a nice ass," Brian laughed.

"Spanky! Jesus."

"That and she can take a joke. She's even pretty good about getting actual work done too."

"You know her birthday's coming up," Lana reminded him.

"Aw, man. I guess this means I got to get her a card and one of those gift card thingys."

"For God's sake, Spank," Paul made a face. "I know you're a broke ass dude sometimes, but come on, you can do better than that. Kimbo busts her ass for you. Put some thought into something for a change, will you?"

"My idea is easier."

"Look, I'll even go with you to pick out something for her. Something that will shock the hell out of Kimbo and perhaps make her a little more grateful for working for you."

"You think?" Brian asked.

"Yeah. And I have some free time this afternoon. You game?"

"Okay, dude. Let's do it."

"Now that's the spirit," Lana smiled at both of them. "And I'm sure Kim will be thrilled."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"You mean women actually go for this shit?" Brian asked as he and Paul stared in a jewelry case. "I thought dudes only bought this for their wives or something like that."

"You don't get out much, do you?" Paul inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"I ain't getting anything fancy. You're lucky I let you drag my ass here in the first place."

"Look; there's a nice silver chain with a few small, simple stones. If that doesn't speak Kimbo, nothing does."

"Whoa, let's not go nuts! I didn't say anything about agreeing to buy any rocks! You know the outcome from the last chick I gave one of those."

"Dude, they're three tiny stones, not the fucking Hope Diamond. Jesus."

A saleslady approached them, smiling and asking if they needed any assistance.

"Yeah, my clueless buddy here is shopping for a birthday present for his hard working secretary."

"_Hard working? _Exaggerate much, PL?"

Paul shot him a dirty look, and then turned back to the salesperson. "Could we have a better look at that silver chain with the stones in it?"

"Of course. This piece is thirty percent off today. It's our anniversary sale."

Brian perked up. "Thirty percent, huh?"

"Glad _something _got your attention," Paul said.

"Hey, we ain't exactly rolling in it like the higher up guys, you know. If it been up to me, I'd gotten her a $10 Starbucks gift card and some goofy Hallmark card by now. But no, you had to go all fancy and drag me here."

"Which you will thank me and Lana for royally later when Kim sees this thing. What do you think, dude? Seriously."

"Come to think of it, this isn't bad, PL. You really think she'll dig it?"

"Trust me, she'll both dig this and the effort you made to get her a decent gift. Now cough up the Visa."

"All right; you convinced me, and how can I pass up thirty percent off?" Brian handed the charge card over and waited for the sale to be completed.

Meanwhile, Paul had gone over to another display case, staring at one of the contents in it.

"Dude," Brian said. "We're done here."

"Not quite."

"What? Come on now; I told you let's not go nuts. I already spent enough money on Kim as it is."

"Actually, I wasn't thinking about Kimbo this time." Paul pointed at the object of interest. "You see that ring right there? It just reminded me of the one Lana told me about that her _mami _gave her when Lana was a teenager, and eventually hocked it to get more pills when she was addicted."

Brian gave a low whistle. "Wow, that's some serious shit, man."

"Yeah."

"Wait, don't tell me you're thinking about—"

"I'm getting it for her," Paul finished. "It may not be the original, but it looks pretty damn close."

"And it came from you. Want me to get the sales chick back? You might get thirty percent off too."

"Cheap midget," Paul made a face. "Anyway, yeah, go get her. I think my own secretary's due for a little gift of her own 'just because'."

"Yeah, 'just because' you want to get laid tonight."

Paul smacked Brian's head. "Go get the salesperson, Tweedle Dumb. Jesus."

Leave it to dude to have sex on the brain even in public, Paul thought, shaking his head and staring in the case again.

Soon, his own purchase was taken care of and they were on their way out of the store.

"What do you know, Spanky? You survived and it wasn't even all that painful, was it?"

"I guess not. Now I have to come up with a creative way to give this to Kimberly."

"Why don't you just leave it where she'll spot it or hand it to her like a normal person?"

"Because I'm not a normal person?"

"Wow, you finally got the memo? Seriously, dude, just give it to her. I'm sure in spite of she and you driving each other nuts, she'll appreciate it."

"You going to do the same for Lana?"

"Perhaps. I haven't decided yet."

"And you say _I'm_ weird," Brian shook his head. "Come on, man, let's go eat. All this swanky shopping made me hungry and I got to get Kimberly some lunch anyway."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Where are the guys?" Kim asked.

"They went shopping and are going to grab some lunch," Lana answered, looking up from the work she was doing on her laptop.

Kim broke out laughing. "Are you serious? Perhaps you missed the memo that _Brian's_ idea of shopping is going to the corner Taco Bell, picking up something at 7-11, or ordering porn and charging it to Paul when he isn't hanging out at the neighborhood Goodwill."

"Really, Kim, he may have another side of him you know nothing about."

"I've worked for the goof for a year and a half; I doubt there's anything I missed, considering he's solid proof one doesn't have to hang off a tree to be a nut."

"Well, he can't be too bad if you've been working with him for a year and a half."

Kim smiled again. "I guess you're right. You know, that midget can be a pain in the ass and work my last nerve sometimes, but I have to admit he's a pretty amusing guy."

"Funny you'd mention that, because he says the same about you."

"No shit? Hmm, maybe that's why we can put up with each other in spite of us trading insults, which are in jest, by the way. Actually, I'm shocked some nice girl hasn't snatched him up. He is a cute little bugger too."

"Yeah, too bad. Problem is, most of the girls around here want the bigger men with six pack abs and a seven figure income."

"They can keep those," Kim snorted. "Not too many of them are fun anyway, especially when we hear Cricket bitch about Randy or Gwen complaining about Lance riding her ass about every little thing. Compared to them, you and I got the better end of the deal. At least Brian can both give and take a good joke even if he is cheap and lazy sometimes."

"Yeah, that he can," Lana agreed.

"And he probably forgot my birthday today anyway, but that's okay. Sometimes I forget it myself."

"Oh, I'm sure he remembered this time. Paul and I had to give him a little nudge."

"Thanks, but I don't think it will make much of a difference. So what are you and your boss planning tonight?"

"Nothing that I know of."

"You _still_ haven't considered the offer of moving in with him? It's not that you two don't spend enough time together anyway. Why not make it official?"

"I'm still thinking about it. I haven't really lived with anyone outside of Denise."

"God, do you have any idea how many women would want to be in your place right now? I say go for it!"

"Wouldn't it be a bit odd to move in with my own boss?"

"Not any more odd than you already screwing him."

"_Kimberly!" _Lana blushed.

"Sorry, just an observation. But really, it would be a tad more exciting than looking at Denise 24 hours a day, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose," Lana sighed. "but I almost feel as if I would abandon her, especially since she was there when I came out of rehab and had practically nothing."

"Rest assured Denise would not have a problem with it. Besides, shacking up with a hot man might be fun."

"You don't have to make it sound so dirty, Kim."

"God, I _have _been working for Brian too long, haven't I? I'm starting to think like him. Next thing I know, I'll be charging $500 worth of porn to Paul's account too."

"That reminds me; your boss still owes him that $500."

"Yeah, I know. Tell Paul to stop at my cubicle and I'll cut him a check. Don't worry, it will be good since I just did His Highness' bookkeeping yesterday."

"Speaking of whom, I think they're back; at least I thought I heard Paul," Lana said.

"Well, that does it for me. Time to go see what greasy offerings the king brought me for lunch like he's accomplished something."

"I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised," Lana smiled. "I'll see you later."

-------------------------

"Good, Kim isn't in here," Brian grinned, peering into her work space. "This will be perfect. I just hope she didn't go to lunch already."

"She might be over chatting with Lana," Paul said. "Still, I can't believe you came up with this thing. And we already told her you'd pick up something for lunch anyway."

"Come on, dude; I had to think of something different. She's probably already expecting fast food; she just doesn't know the rest of it yet."

Brian then dropped the fast food bag on Kim's desk and made his exit. "I'm headed to the vending machines. You coming?"

"Jesus Christ, Spanky; you just ate half an hour ago."

"I need a soda."

"Fine. I'll be with Lana to see if she heard anything from creative."

"I doubt she did, but it never hurts to find out."

"Yeah, more like another week of me sitting on my ass backstage for three more hours. See you later, dude."

---------------------------

Kim spotted the bag on her desk and rolled her eyes.

"Wow, McDonald's. Woohoo, happy birthday to me," she said. "Boy, I have a great boss."

"Just open the fucking bag and save the commentary, Kimberly," Brian called back. "You're lucky I remembered your birthday this year."

"Yeah, after Lana and Paul told you. Check it out….limp, greasy fries, smooshed cheeseburger, and…..**OH MY GOD, BRIAN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"**

Somebody found the prize, he grinned to himself. "Something wrong, dear?"

"This _has_ to be a mistake," Kim said, holding up a box containing the necklace. "You wouldn't by any chance pinched someone else's lunch order, did you?"

"Very funny. Come on; check it out."

"This is gorgeous," she said. "I am very impressed."

"What, no insults?" Brian asked.

"How can I insult something this lovely?" Kim pecked his cheek. "Thank you. You are a great boss, and I mean it this time."

"Wow, score one for the short dude," he grinned. "I actually did something right for a change."

"Even if Paul did help you," Kim smiled slyly. "But it's the thought of _yours_ that counted the most."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_Don't ya love her madly  
Don't ya need her badly  
Don't ya love her ways  
Tell me what you say _

_--"Love Her Madly," by the Doors_

Lana had jolted awake from the strange dream that she just had; it seemed that she had been having many weird dreams since she had moved in with Paul shortly after he had given her the ring he had bought the day he'd gone with Brian to pick out Kim's birthday present and asked her again to move in with him. That time, she had accepted.

She now got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a drink of water, collecting her thoughts before she heard footsteps, only to turn around and find him there in his boxers under his robe.

"I heard a noise and came to check it out," he explained.

"It was just me," Lana said softly. "I had one of my weird dreams again and thought I'd get myself together."

"Come on, baby, come back to bed; you need your sleep," Paul said, kissing her cheek.

"I know, but that dream was just too real."

"Mmmmm...I know how I can put my sexy lady back to sleep," he said with a grin, looking into her eyes and deeply kissed her, taking her hand. "Come on, let's go to bed."

Back in the bedroom, they kissed passionately again, their tongues exploring each others' mouths.

Paul then pushed her back on the bed, taking in her breast gently sucking and nibbling, his tongue twirling around her nipple and making it erect before he began working on the other.

"Ohhhh God..." she softly moaned.

He kissed down her belly before reaching the spot between her legs; it always turned him on that she kept her pussy shaved.

"Just be easy, Paul. You have a tendency to go a little nuts sometimes," she said

"I will, baby," he promised.

He spread her legs back, pushing inside her and making love to Lana slowly at first before he began speeding up his thrusts again.

Lana closed her eyes and could feel the throes of orgasm creeping up on her. She held back for a few minutes, gritting her teeth, not wanting it to happen too soon.

Soon, screams and sighs escaped her lips. Not long after, Paul had his own release, Lana feeling herself being filled before it was over.

He climbed off of her once he was finished, kissing and snuggling into Lana's breasts, telling her how beautiful she was.

"I just had the sexiest woman in the world tonight," he added huskily.

"Just tonight?" she asked, teasing a little.

"And every night from now on," he grinned.

They went to sleep in each other's arms, Paul dreaming about the idea of maybe taking his relationship to the next level.


	19. Chapter 19

-1**Chapter 19**

_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be  
There holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side with  
My superhuman might  
Kryptonite _

_--"Kryptonite," by 3 Doors Down_

"**FUCKING CHRIST!" **Paul bellowed, walking into the room and wiping his mouth with a disgusted look on his face.

Lana heard Kim and Brian howling with laughter in the next room.

"Looks like you earned that twenty, Brian," she heard Kim say between giggles.

"Nah, you keep it, " he responded. "Just getting the opportunity to lay one on PL and grab his ass is payment enough."

Lana looked at Paul. "Should I ask what happened _this_ time?"

"Damn Kimbo goaded Brian on by betting twenty dollars that he wouldn't try to kiss me!"

He then went on to elaborate that Brian had come in, given a shit eating grin to Paul before he plopped down in Paul's lap. Paul had tried pushing him off, but Brian had fought it by wrapping his arms around Paul's neck before planting a big wet kiss on the lips, sneaking in some tongue and an ass grab.

"Can we ever figure a way to get rid of those two heathens?" Paul asked with almost a whine.

Lana began to laugh in spite of herself.

"It's not funny!" he yelled. "**DEGRADING, I TELL YOU!**"

"Dude, you know you loved it," Brian called from the other room, which made Kim laugh even harder.

"**SHUT UP, SPANKY!"**

"Oh come on, Paul, they were just kidding around," Lana soothed him.

"Yeah, but why does everyone have to make _me_ the butt of everything?"

"Look at it this way; if they're bothering you, they're leaving someone else alone."

"More like nobody else would put up with their shit and let them live."

"Well, maybe next time, you can catch them off guard and try something for a little payback."

"Hmm, now I like how you're thinking," Paul said, a grin forming on his face. "And on the other hand, _you _ are welcome to sit on my lap _any _ time." He gave a grab on Lana's rounded bottom.

"Hey!" she cried, laughing again. "Can you at least wait until we're alone?"

"No," he replied before laying a long kiss on her. "Now that's better."

"Jesus, you two are making me sick," Brian groaned. "You got anything decent to eat around here?"

"Not since you burned dinner, asshole," Paul said. "Tell you what; if you can grab Kimbo's ass, I'll pay you twenty bucks and that can get you all the junk munchies you want."

"You're on, man!"

"Don't you dare make him do that, Paul!" Kim yelled from the other room.

"Sorry, already did. Better get a running start, Kimbo."

Kim bolted out the door, Brian hot on her tail.

"That should keep them busy for about ten minutes," Paul laughed. "Now, where were we?"


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Paul felt a squirt of cold water on him the next morning, stirring him a little.

"What the hell….?" he asked groggily.

It had been Lana with a water pistol. "Time to wake up, sleeping beauty. We have a flight in a few hours."

He groaned into the pillow. "Do I _have _to?"

She patted his ass. "Yes, come on; time to get moving. I know you aren't a morning person, but you took this job, remember?"

He gave out another groan.

"Hey, it isn't my fault you wanted to have sex until three in the morning to prove what a stud you are," Lana said.

"Yeah, like you were complaining and begging me to stop the entire time. Damn, woman."

Lana slapped his ass a little harder this time.

"Ow!" Paul yelled.

"Good, now that you're totally awake, we can get moving. You can have the shower first."

"You aren't joining me?" he asked, a little disappointed.

"_Somebody_ has to finish packing our stuff," she said. "It isn't going to get done by itself."

"Okay then, but you're missing out on a great opportunity," he yawned, getting out of bed.

"Oh, I'm sure there will be others. Go, and I can have the rest of this done by the time you're finished. I'll make some coffee too."

"You don't have to do that. We can go to Starbucks on the way to the airport."

"I don't have to, but I _want_ to," Lana replied. "Besides, we have to pick up Kim and Brian on the way."

"Great," he grumbled from the bathroom, "you just ruined my morning by mentioning Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb."

"Oh come on, you two boys love each other most of the time and you know it."

"And there's the rest of it where he can be a pain in the ass, especially when it comes to doing stuff that embarrasses the shit out of me. Last time, he was checking out _guys' _asses on the plane when he wasn't hitting on the flight attendants. Jesus."

"Kim egged him on that time too," Lana pointed out.

"Figures."

"You weren't exactly Mr. Innocent either. You think I didn't see you eying some women's chests, especially the girl in front of us?"

"I'm a boob man, so sue me." Paul then came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, copping a feel. "And yours are _still_ the best, baby."

"Nice save," she chuckled, closing the suitcase. "Get dressed and I'll get that coffee before I shower. Then we have to get moving."

--------------------------------------

Kim had been awake for a few hours, finishing hers and Brian's own packing and making some last-minute preparations.

She glanced at the clock, noticing the time and realizing the midget still wasn't up.

Shit, she thought, this is going to be a total pain in the ass to get him up yet again. Kim figured if it wasn't for _her _for the most part, he'd never be anywhere on time.

She then smiled wickedly, thinking of an idea that would work to light a fire under Brian's ass for sure. Cackling at little, Kim took out a small air horn she'd kept in a drawer to scare off telemarketers when they called, heading for her boss' bedroom.

Kim was a short distance from where Brian slept, letting go a healthy blast.

"**FUCK!" **he yelled. "What was hell that all about?"

"Good morning to you too, Grumpy. I had to get your lazy ass up somehow."

"And practically make me fucking deaf in the process?"

Kim nodded. "Better get moving if we're going to meet Paul and Lana to go to the airport."

"Yeah, give me some time to get the ringing out of my ears and take a shower. Jesus Christ."

"Well, if you're a good boy and on time, maybe Lana will let you kiss Paul again."

"Wow, now _there's_ an incentive," he joked, his mood suddenly changing.

"Good, now shift ass while I get the suitcases outside. I've been finished in the bathroom for awhile, so it's all yours. Just don't spend too much time jacking off in there."

"Very fucking funny, Kimberly. Did you feed the cat?"

"I fed Chester and scooped his box half an hour ago," she replied. "The highlight of each morning, getting you out of bed, getting coffee down your yap, and cleaning up cat shit. Woohoo, I have such an exciting, glamorous job."

"Hey, you _can _be replaced, you know."

"Right, that's why you've kept me around for a little over a year and a half. Okay."

"Get that, will you?" Brian asked when the phone rang. "It's probably PL anyway. Tell him I'm in the shower."

"Okay," she nodded. "But you better bust a move if we're going to meet them on time."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"Remind me to either bunk with you guys when we check into a hotel or put a permanent ban on Brian eating burritos after six in the evening," Kim said the next day. "Good thing this is a no-smoking hotel, because if anyone lit a match in there last night, the whole place would have blown. I'm even surprised I didn't get asphyxiated overnight from the stench."

"Lord knows I haven't dealt with that before over the years," Paul said, rolling his eyes.

"Like_you_ never fart, PL," Brian called from the other room after he'd come in. "I can tell stories."

"Come to think of it, not very often he _does_ pass gas," Lana responded. "I've finally got my boss trained."

"Me, trained? _Never! _And speaking of rooms, damn Chester ruins them. I have to pay for the room and the cat damage every time. Fucking Brian, 'I forgot my Mastercard' Psh. I always get stuck with shit," Paul said.

"Kim and I have told you a dozen times, go have her cut a check from his business account to reimburse you instead of sitting around whining about it."

"Are you going to nag me again? Christ, you're worse than a wife."

"Thanks, it's part of the job that you pay me for, remember?" Lana grinned.

"Besides, someone has to keep you boys in line. And speaking of which, Brian, when the hell did you get back?" Kim wondered.

"What, there's a fucking thing where I have to report in now? Last time I checked, I was _your_ boss, Kimberly."

"I was just asking. Geez, is it your time of the month or something?"

"Very funny. Anyway, the time we got to be at the arena's been changed to six thirty."

"Thanks," Lana replied. "but did they say why?"

"Nope, just pushed it back an hour. Did you fix the pants I want to wear down there tonight, Kim?"

"Yes, dear," Kim rolled her eyes. "Talk about someone that's worse than a wife. And I brought the stuff you wanted at the store too. It's on the front table."

"Whoa, you even got the right kind of Cheetos, girl! I think you need a raise."

"I needed a raise a year and a half ago; where have you been?"

"Ha ha. No, honestly, we need to discuss that when we get back home."

Kim stopped short, looking over at the other two in shock before responding, "Are you serious?"

"Hey, anyone that can put up with me for a year and a half is worthy of one, even if they did make me half deaf yesterday with a damn air horn."

"Air horn?" Paul wondered.

"It was the only thing I could think of to get his lazy ass out of bed to meet you guys on time," Kim clarified.

"Gee, and I thought Lana targeting me with a water gun was bad. I think I'll take the lesser of the two evils."

"I'm telling you, PL, she's trying to kill me."

"Yet you want to give her a raise," Paul laughed. "Okay, dude."

Suddenly the room went dark, causing Lana to snort in disgust.

"Brian, will you please quit fooling around with the switches? Some of us are trying to work here. You're lucky I saved what I got done, or you'd really be catching hell."

"Sounds like your ass is grass and Lana is the lawnmower, Spanky."

"Sorry, Red. I thought PL was looking at porn again," Brian apologized.

"Ha! That's more _your _department, dude," Paul retorted.

"Yeah, you can say that again, especially when I see the Visa bill every month," Kim added.

"I didn't ask anything out of the smart ass section," Brian said.

"Just stating the facts, dear," Kim replied.

Paul looked over at Lana. "Is it just me or do those two bicker like an old married couple?"

"It's not just you," she smiled, then added lowly, "I'm beginning to wonder if they're crushing on each other and won't admit it."

"Come to think of it, Spanky does need someone besides me to give him a stiff kick in the ass once in awhile."

"Well, she'd certainly be good for that for sure."

Brian came in the room, tossing down a soda before he let out a loud belch. Both Paul and Lana shot him a dirty look.

"What?" he asked.

"Jesus, Brian. Were you brought up in a barn?" Lana asked.

"Be thankful he didn't fart," Kim replied. "Otherwise, we'd have to call in the HAZMAT crew."

"Shut up," Brian said, tossing the empty can at her. "Anyway, I got to piss."

"TMI," Paul responded. "And close the fucking door this time. There's ladies present."

"_Kim's_ considered a lady? Wow, I must have missed that memo."

"Bite me, Brian," Kim shot back.

"God, I feel like I'm traveling with Ricky Ricardo and the Mertzes," Lana said, shaking her head. "One thing about you three, there's never a dull moment."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_Baby I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time  
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you  
Baby I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time  
Hung me on a line  
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

_Baby I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man  
Who's in the middle of something  
That he doesn't really understand  
Babe I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman  
Who could ever help me  
Baby wont you help to me understand_

_Baby I'm a man and maybe I'm a lonely man  
Who's in the middle of something  
That he doesn't really understand  
Babe I'm a man and maybe you're the only woman  
Who could ever help me  
Baby wont you help me understand_

_Baby I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time  
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you  
Baby I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song  
You right me when I'm wrong  
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

_--"Maybe I'm Amazed," by Paul McCartney_

"For fuck's sake, Kimberly, are you still ragging on me because I didn't tell you where I was late last night? Come on now; PL, Red and I had a long talk about this shit and they forgave me, not to mention gave me some good insight. Hell, Red said she'd kick my ass if I ever did that again," Brian explained.

Kim glared at him. "You could have least had the common decency to call me. I do work for you, you know. Thanks for making _me_ look like an idiot when I couldn't tell anyone where the hell you were. You're damn lucky I got you to that signing today on time. Yours and PL's asses are already on a string as it is."

"I'm**SORRY**, okay? It wasn't an intention to make you look like an ass; it was me being stupid. Look, I know I fucked up, but do you have to guilt me about it?"

"When the three of us stay up until the wee hours of the morning worrying unnecessarily? Yes."

"Christ, I guess I'm not going to hear the end of this. First, PL, Red and Drew, then my mother and Shanny, now you."

"We were worried you'd wind up an unidentified body somewhere!" Kim cried. "And how would I explain _that_ to the bosses? You _know_ why they hired my ass to work for you in the first place, did you? PL called your phone no less than _41 times_, shitting razor blades the whole time. Was that any indication?"

"Yeah, yeah; I got that story from him. Next."

Kim smacked his head. "There's your 'next,' smart ass."

"You really _did _care about me being gone so long, didn't you?" Brian asked, rubbing the part of his head where Kim had whacked him.

"Honestly? I don't sit up until three thirty in the morning for everybody."

He thought a moment. "Wow. We really need to discuss that raise for you for sure."

"After what I went through last night, Lord knows I deserve it, not to mention the other shit I put up with from you in the past year and a half."

"Okay, I deserved that one. But I made some other decisions too."

Kim brightened a little. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Listen, I know I haven't been a very good boss at times; hell, I've been a total pain in the ass more times than I can count. Anyway, Kim, I'm going to try and find other ways to deal with my problems and issues. I'm even going to attempt to stop smoking, but that'll take some serious help and patience."

"Wow, you _have_ been thinking things over. I'm impressed."

"I'll even cut down on the insults," he grinned.

"Okay, you don't have to go nuts," Kim laughed. "Besides, I think people around us like hearing us trade them. It's mostly in jest, after all."

"How did I have the awesome luck of getting you again?"

"I have no idea; maybe they drew your name from a hat when I was hired. Still, I wouldn't have stuck around for a year and a half if I didn't feel it was worth it in the end."

"Yeah, I got to admit I'm not the easiest dude to understand."

"Look, Bri, you may be a pain in the ass sometimes, but you're _my_ pain in the ass, and it's going to take a hell of a lot for me to quit on you. I'm not going anywhere. If you need a stiff kick in the meantime, count me in."

"Good," he grinned. "Now go get me a soda."

"Nice to see some things _aren't _going to change," Kim laughed again, heading for the suite kitchen.

�


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Monday afternoon, Lana and Carol had gone upstairs to check into their respective rooms; Carol was a little surprised Lana had gotten a room alone. She had _never _done that before, making Carol concerned enough to check in on Lana as soon as she dropped off her own luggage.

"I swear to God, I am turning in my resignation and moving back in with Denise, effective _immediately," _Lana said angrily, tossing folders onto a desk in her room.

"What's wrong?" Carol wondered. "It's rare that I see you like this. I can expect it from Cricket or even Kim, but _you?"_

"My boss is a total fuckhead that embarrassed the shit out of me, Kim and Brian, that's what!"

"Okay…" Carol replied with a little hesitation, "would you care to elaborate?"

"For starters, it went from plane ride to train ride before the plane even had a chance to get in the air. Four hundred dollars shot to hell, Carol, because asshole couldn't keep his temper in check."

"_What?"_

"He's such a damned child! He badmouthed the poor flight attendant, and then repeatedly kicked the seat in front of him so hard until it broke and _all four of us _were evicted from the plane, to say the least. All the woman asked him was if he wanted a drink! His exact words were 'I'm fine, thank you, and buy a longer skirt; you're a stewardess, not a hooker.' Why not just make all of us look like ungrateful jackasses in the process?"

"Good lord."

"It gets worse, Carol. Then after Brian whacked him upside the head for the comment he made to the flight attendant, Paul started kicking the seat, which had someone in it, and the person asked him to stop. Paul glared and kept kicking it until he kicked it so hard the hinges towards the bottom of the backrest broke off and we got escorted off the plane. As I said, being a child!"

"Oh dear God. Something tells me damage control is in the works."

"Well, it isn't going to be from me. I'm tired of covering his ass. He doesn't pay me enough for it anyway."

Carol chuckled a little. "You _must_ be furious. I never heard you complain about your salary before."

"Yeah, why I put up with this, I will never know. I swear, Carol, I need a meeting in the worst way now, or I am going to be screaming for Valium. And no man is worth me being driven back to my addiction, plus he owes me four hundred dollars on the plane ticket I wasted because of his temper tantrum."

"Well, if the need is that urgent, you may go to one whenever you like. I think there is one down a few blocks, in fact."

"After the five hour train ride from hell, that looks mighty appealing right now. By the way, Brian took the liberty of arranging with the bellboy downstairs that my ass of a boss is not allowed to leave, giving them his number so in the event Paul does try to leave without him, me, or Kim, there is going to be a serious situation. The last thing we need is him screwing up and getting arrested for something. The sites would grab onto that in a millisecond."

Carol nodded in agreement. "Not to mention both those boys could lose their jobs. He's already hanging by a string as it is."

"Exactly. It's mine and Kim's jobs to keep their asses intact. And he has the balls to talk about _Brian_ acting like an idiot? I never thought I would say this, but to be honest, I think Kim's working for the more rational one."

"Sounds like someone could use anger management."

"You're telling me!" Lana cried.

"Look, go to your meeting; there's plenty of time before you all have to be at the arena. Maybe by then you will have some further insight into all of this."

"Thanks again, Carol. Let me unpack a few things and change, and I can get out of here for a bit."

"Anytime, hon. Denise will be around later if you need anything else."

-----------------------

Lana had just put some things in drawers and was thumbing through her NA guide for the meeting location Carol had told her about when she heard a thud on the other side of the wall.

"Go ahead, throw some more shit, you asshole!" she yelled. "And I am_not_ paying for it, either!"

Inaudible yelling came from the other side.

"Kiss my white ass!" Lana bellowed back. "And if you think you're getting sex tonight, I have news for you!"

"Brrr," a voice said. "I think I'll just head back to the room. I've heard of redheaded tempers, but I never thought I'd see one in action."

"Oh, Kim, I'm sorry," she said, spying her co-worker and friend. 

"Don't be," Kim shook her head and smiled. "He's put the three of us through all kinds of hell today."

"How's Brian doing?" Lana wondered.

"You mean besides ready to rip his buddy's balls off and sell them on eBay? Perfectly fine, I guess. I'm telling you, Lana, I don't know how they fit such a big heart into that little body of his."

"He must have the patience of a saint; I'll grant you that. Hey, wait a minute, you actually said something _nice _about your boss for once?" Lana couldn't help but smile.

"You know, the midget isn't really that bad of a guy. Sure, he's a pain in the ass that works my last nerve in the process sometimes, but deep down, there's a super person in there."

"I take it you finally got your raise."

"It isn't very much, but yeah. That's got nothing to do with it, though. To be honest, someone needs to give _him_ danger pay for dealing with Paul's bullshit all of the time."

"I hear you there," Lana nodded. "God, what poor Bri's put up with for _years. _I feel sorry for him."

"Nah, don't feel too sorry for him. I think he likes being a protective hen sometimes. Besides, when he's having a bitchfest with PL, he's leaving me the hell alone."

Lana began to laugh a little. "You are priceless, Kim. Listen, I need to go to a meeting, but do you want to grab some dinner in about an hour before we head over to the arena? Hopefully by the time the show is underway, Bitch Boy will be able to get out his frustrations in the ring, because I am not putting up with this shit over the break."

"Dinner sounds good. And yeah, maybe we'll actually be able to fly home once Mr. PMS gets whatever is bugging him out of his system. See you in an hour."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Wow, talk about a twist last night, huh?" Kim asked when she, Lana and Cricket were sitting around the following morning

"Come on, Kim; Bri's been hinting at that for _months; _you if anyone should have seen that coming from miles away, even if it was scripted," Lana pointed out.

"Still, it's time something interesting happens. Wonder how far they will take it?"

Lana shrugged. "I guess it depends on the higher ups. I can't really say one way or the other."

"Speaking of which, how is King Crab Ass this morning?" Cricket asked. "No offense, Lana, but Paul was an even bigger bitch than Randy yesterday, and that goes without saying."

"I guess he's finally calmed down, though I haven't exactly put away the sharp objects yet," Lana replied.

"God, I never thought the day would come when you two would battle it out with each other. Damn!" Kim said.

"Hey, I think I scared myself doing it. Then again, I feel bad for being such a shrew," Lana sighed.

"Ha. That's nothing compared to the scream fest I had to listen to between him and Brian last night. I thought blood was going to be spilled. I had to end up staying with Cricket here to guard my own life."

"Greetings, ladies!" Brian called cheerfully when he came into the room. "You too, Kimberly."

"Hey, speaking of whom, if it isn't the short version of Satan himself in the flesh," Kim retorted. "I see you survived World War III."

"Yeah, and if any of you are concerned, PL made amends with me. All is well once again."

"Thank God," Kim said. "I guess this means it's safe to come back to the room and stare at your ugly mug."

"Kim!" Cricket cried, "that's terrible!"

"Really," Lana added. "He's about the only reason any of us are sane right now considering what went down the last few days."

"Ehh, guys; don't worry about it; I've put up with Kimberly's abuse for a year and a half, so what's another day? By the way, Red, PL wants to talk to you too."

"Oh shit," Lana rolled her eyes. "Do I really want to subject myself to this?"

"Actually, he was in one of his remorseful moments when he said it, so yeah, I think you're safe."

"All right," she sighed. "I'll be up in ten minutes, but if anyone doesn't hear from me within an hour, call the National Guard or at least the bellboy."

-------------------

"Oh good; I see you got the message," Paul said when he saw Lana at the door and ushered her in.

"I did," she replied cooly. "So what do you have to say?"

"That I'm sorry for being a total ass yesterday and putting everyone through shit?"

Lana thawed a little and managed a smile. "That's good for starters," she said.

"And I'm sorry for telling everyone within earshot that you're a frigid, uptight bitch and no wonder you couldn't get a husband."

Lana smiled wider; Brian was right, he _was_ being remorseful, and how could she possibly stay mad at him?

"Well, while we're on apologies, I'm sorry for yelling at you and being a total fishwife."

"Don't apologize for _that," _Paul shook his head. "Looking back, I rightfully deserved it."

"I know, but I still feel guilty," she said.

"Got to admit, though, you have one hell of a redheaded temper."

"Ha! Like _you're _a fine one to talk about tempers!" Lana replied, laughing. "Does Latino heat ring a bell?"

"Yeah, yeah; you got me there, sweetheart. Of course, I must be a glutton for punishment because I kind of dig that trait in you. I never thought it would come out. But when it did, holy shit. And I thought_Brian_ was a screamer. I'm beginning to think you two would tie for first place in a bitchfest championship."

"Yeah, Kim filled me in on the whole 'fuck you' and 'bite me' argument between you and him," Lana replied. "She had to end up staying with Cricket last night."

"I should apologize to her too," Paul said. "You know, I'm not usually like that with the help."

Lana nodded. "I know. We all have bad days; you just need a better outlet to deal with them instead of making everyone else around you miserable. You know, you're very lucky to have people around you that are understanding. This could have had an entirely different outcome otherwise."

"And you're right again. Jesus, woman, you're so smart, you scare the hell out of me. So are you coming back to the room tonight?"

"Maybe for a visit," she nodded. "Mine is paid for so I may as well keep it. Anyway, why don't we go back downstairs with the others for the time being before Kim thinks there's two dead bodies up here and calls out the state police?"

Paul let go a hearty laugh. "I guess that wouldn't be a bad idea, would it? Plus I don't want the midget tracking me down and nagging me again. I had enough of that the last two days to last me a lifetime. Meanwhile, I'll bribe him into buying us all breakfast."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"Red's not crashing with us tonight?" Brian asked, looking around. "I thought you two patched shit up today."

"We did," Paul replied, "but she said since she already paid for her room, she may as well use it."

"Aw man, and I wanted to see some make up sex up close and personal tonight."

"Sick freak," Kim quipped, not looking up from her laptop. 

"Did I ask anything out of the smart ass section?" Brian shot back. "Can't you take a joke?"

"Sure I can. I work for _you, _don't I?"

"Bitch."

"Ho."

"Sea creature."

"Dwarf."

"Fuck you, Kimberly."

"Bite me, Brian."

"Are we going to start this shit again?" Paul interjected. "Christ, it's like rooming with two kids."

"He started it, Daddy," Kim replied, trying not to laugh.

"How come I always get blamed for shit? A little help here, PL?"

"Because you're the bad guy now," Kim said.

"That's just TV, you dumb bitch," Brian whined.

"Jesus, enough! I'm trying to watch a movie here. Shit, I should have gotten my own room too," Paul groaned.

"And to think you'd miss all this excitement," Kim responded. "Look, we all know the truth; Spanky's just jealous because Lana has you and he doesn't."

"Don't go there, Kimberly! If I told you once, I told you six thousand times, I don't row that boat. Now if I had boobs, I'd be all over it."

Paul rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ. You are one sick freak."

"And it took you _ten years _to figure that out?" Kim asked.

"No, but I'm reminded of it on a regular basis," Paul laughed.

"Yeah, like _you're_ the epitome of normal, dude," Brian said. "Hey, Kim, why don't you earn your raise and go get us some sodas and ice, will you?"

"Why? You're closer to the door and last I checked, none of your limbs were broken."

"Just go get some. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Wow, PL, he _is_ desperate," Kim laughed. "He actually said_please_. Now that's something I can't refuse."

"Yeah, and something tells me you better go before he decides to hold you captive like Randy does Cricket most of the time," Paul chuckled back.

"Oh God, as if my work life isn't hell enough."

"Bye, Kimberly," Brian said louder. "I'm not paying you to goof off and run your trap."

"Okay, okay, I'll go get that stuff for your lazy ass. Jesus." She then grabbed the ice bucket. "Be back in five."

---------------------------

Lana turned the TV on sleep timer to shut off automatically before settling into bed; she wouldn't have minded sharing a room with Kim and the guys, but for once, it was nice to have her own space that she paid for herself, especially since she didn't have to engage in battle to get access to the bathroom for once.

Much as she didn't mind it at other times, it was also nice not to be either practically shoved to a corner of the bed, hanging on for life while Paul took more than his half out of it, or being pestered for sex.

She giggled while hearing the usual exchange of insults going on between Kim and Brian next door before hearing Kim leave the room, not helping but wonder how poor Paul was keeping his sanity in the midst of it all. At least the good thing was they would all be back together over the break, this time in Orlando.

While Kim and the boys watched movies next door between playful bickering, Lana soon fell asleep, the TV automatically shutting off not long after. Tomorrow was the trip home.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

With the occasional snore or moan here and there, all was quiet later that night when everyone had gone to sleep without incident into the early hours of the following morning.

Around four in the morning, Brian awoke with the urge to pee, groggily making his way to the bathroom. Once the deed had been completed, he had washed his hands and come back out, the sleeping figures of Kim and Paul around him.

He picked up an odd smell, wondering if something in the room was burning or maybe dumb ass Kim left the stove on again. 

Checking around, Brian found nothing out of the ordinary, not even around the outlets; still, the burning odor was still bothering him.

"Kim," he poked her. "Kimberly, wake up."

"Hmmmm," Kim groaned, turning over to continue sleeping.

"**KIM!"**Brian poked her harder.

"**WHAT!"**she finally woke up and snapped, glancing at the bedside clock. "It's three thirty in the damn morning. This better be good."

"Jesus, bite my head off, why don't you? I smell something burning."

"It's probably your own brain from thinking up shit," she muttered. "And nobody used the stove tonight. Why don't you go excite Paul with this? Oh wait; _he'd_ body slam you into next century if you woke him up now."

"This isn't the time to be funny. I swear to Christ, I smell something burning."

"Well, if it's bothering you so damn bad, go check it out and leave me the hell alone. Some of us are trying to sleep."

"You're no fucking help," he muttered, going for the door and opening it slightly.

"**JESUS CHRIST! HOLY LIVING FUCK, THE HALLWAY IS FULL OF SMOKE!"** Brian yelled at the top of his lungs. 

"_What!"_Kim cried, now fully awake.

"We got to get out of here! I'm getting PL the fuck up."

"Yeah, sure; I'll call down to the desk," she said.

"Use the hotel phone; I don't want you blowing us all up to hell from using the cell phone."

"Don't you think I thought of that? God, will just get Paul already before we all burn to death?"

Kim then dialed the desk, reporting the smoke in the corridor. She was in the process of being told that there was a fire in the building and to evacuate as soon as possible when she heard a loud bellow from the next room.

"**GOD DAMN YOU, SPANKY! THIS BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR PRACTICAL JOKES OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOUR MIDGET ASS!"**

"Dude, it isn't; the hallway is filled with smoke. You got to get up!"

"There's fire," Kim said calmly when Brian came back out. "We have to get out now."

"Did they say where?"

"Not exactly, but it's somewhere down on the lower levels, which means the elevators are shut down.

"Great, now we'll have to go down one hundred thousand stairs. We'll be fucking burned alive before we're out."

"Oh my God!" Paul said. "Lana! Did anyone try to get her?"

"Actually, I was about to go get her, but it may be a problem," Kim replied.

"Yeah, PL; you if anyone knows how she sleeps. Someone could drop an atom bomb near her and she'd never know it." Brian handed them wet towels. "Put these over your face so we don't breathe that shit on the way out."

"Shit! And I suppose you didn't bring that air horn," Paul said to Kim.

Kim shook her head. "Let's go get her and get the hell out of here while we can."

-----------------------

Inside her room, Lana slumbered, not hearing Kim or the guys banging on the door trying to rouse her, nor was she aware of a fire going on in the hotel. 

"I'm breaking the door down," Paul finally said. "Take Kim and go downstairs."

"Dude, I--"

"_Now,_Spanky. You want to be burned alive? I have Lana covered, trust me."

"Okay, but I don't know how you're going to break in. It isn't like we have weapons."

"Just take Kim and get your ass out of here, will you? I told you I'll take care of this and there's no fucking time to argue about it."

--------------------------

"Brian, will you quit pacing back and forth like an idiot?" Kim asked as she watched the fire department and EMT's do their work once the fire had been found and put out.

"PL and Red haven't come out," he said anxiously. "I swear, Kim, if something happened to both of them after he insisted we get out of there, I'll never live with myself for listening to the asshole."

"Being a drama queen and pacing isn't going to help anything; it was more smoke than flames, and if they're still in there, the fire department will find them."

"Yeah, after they've been cremated alive. How am I going to function without my PL? I've seen people come out the fire door or being carried out by the medics, but no sign of _him_ or Red."

"They're probably still coming down the stairwell. It took us awhile to get down here, remember? Of course, you smoke like a chimney, so maybe it might not take them as long as it did us."

"Nice. My best friend could have burned to death and you're making jokes about my habits."

"Brian, let's just give it a few more minutes and if neither of us sees them, we'll ask someone. Okay?" She then grabbed the waistband of his pants. "Now sit the hell down before you drive me to the brink of insanity."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

"Come on, Lana, just a few more steps till we're out," Paul instructed her gently.

She gave a small moan in response, moving alongside him—more like him practically dragging her—as the gradually reached the fire exit. 

Lana had appeared more than groggy; it was more like she had been disoriented and coughing, making him wonder if she had breathed in too much smoke.

"I'm tired," Lana whined a little before she coughed again. "I want to stop."

"We can't, sweetheart. We're almost out; I promise."

"Tired…." she said again, trailing off.

"Just stay with me. It will be over soon."

---------------------

"Go ahead, get up and pace again and I will kick your ass," Kim warned Brian. "You're just making a bad situation worse."

"The rest of the damn roster is out! Where the hell are PL and Red?"

"Didn't I just say give it a couple more minutes?"

"Fuck this shit; I'm going to ask someone what's going on, since you want to sit on your flat ass and do nothing."

"Fine, go make a donkey out of yourself and be the laughingstock of the whole world. No skin off my teeth."

"Someone's coming out!" Kim heard someone call and beckon toward the fire exit. "That should be the last of them."

Loud applause broke out as Paul came through the fire door with Lana, catching the medics' attention and handing her over to them, saying she had been coughing and seemed confused.

"**PL!"**Brian yelled at the top of his lungs, running over and grabbing Paul in a bear hug, holding on for dear life. "You nearly scared the hell out of me, man!"

"Yeah, and you're going to get your ass in trouble for breaking kayfabe. You're supposed to hate my guts now, remember? Get off of me."

"You see anyone in these pants that gives a fuck about kayfabe right now? You're _alive._"

"Dude, come on; honest to Christ, everyone's looking and you're making an ass out of yourself."

"Don't care," Brian said, still hanging on.

"I don't even know this crazy guy," Kim said. "Never saw him before in my life."

"Kimbo, go ask one of those fire guys if they have a jaws of life to pry this thing off of me. I'd like to see how Lana is, but I don't want to drag this dead weight around."

"I sit down here worrying my happy ass off about you and this is the thanks I get?"

"Look, you see that I am breathing, now get the fuck off of me before I have Kimbo get the jaws of life for real."

------------------------

Lana had been taken to the hospital, where she was being admitted for observation while being treated for moderate smoke inhalation. 

"What happened?" she asked later that morning once she had gotten her bearings.

"Fire at the hotel," Paul answered. "Apparently you'd already breathed in a shitload of smoke before I even got to you."

"But how did you…." Lana began.

"The big time hero broke the door to your room down," Brian grinned. "Don't ask how, but I cannot be prouder of my bitch than I am now."

"Okay, dude? I am not your bitch, and if you _still_ think so, then you need to get your ass back downstairs and seek treatment for the stuff you inhaled because something in your head is totally fucked up."

"Yeah, and I thought I was your bitch," Kim said. "At least you call me one at every opportunity. I'm hurt."

"You're my _paid_ bitch," Brian said laughingly. "PL's for the rest of it."

"If that is the case, I better prepare to go on strike then," Kim quipped. "For better conditions."

"Nice to see that the fire didn't affect _some_ things," Lana said with a smile.

"Believe me, Lana, the damn world could blow up and these two morons would still be going at it. I don't why they just don't admit they like each other, go make out, and get it over with."

"Hey, come on, Paul, I may be single and looking, but I'm not _that_damn hard up," Kim replied.

"And Kim has cooties," Brian teased.

"Which I probably got off of _you," _Kim shot back laughingly.

"Never mind," Paul rolled his eyes. "Perhaps it's better to hear the insults. Anyway, we need to get going down to the Red Cross to clean up before we go back and see if anything is salvageable at the hotel."

"Yeah, Brian's due for his flea dip anyway," Kim quipped.

"Bitch," he growled.

"Ho," she responded.

"All right, children; let's go and let the nice lady rest for awhile," Paul said. "Lord knows I have to deal with your shit enough as it is once we get on the plane tomorrow."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"Paul, stop the car, I think I'm going to puke," Lana said hurriedly as they all were on the way to the hotel a few weeks later.

"Again? Christ, we just stopped ten minutes ago for you to toss your cookies."

"Dude, would you rather she barf in the car?" Brian asked from the back seat. "Pull the fuck over for the lady."

"Considering this is a rental that _I'm_ paying for because you 'forgot' your Mastercard again, I think pulling over will be the lesser of the two evils."

"It's in the pants I wore a couple of nights ago and forgot to pack, I swear."

"Whatever you say, Spanky."

Kim patted Brian's thigh. "It's all right, dear, early senility makes us do things we usually wouldn't."

"Very fucking funny, Kimberly."

They found an area with high weeds, where Lana rushed out of the car and did her deed before pulling out a Kleenex to wipe her mouth and then popped a breath mint.

"Sorry, guys," she apologized when she came back in the car.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Kim asked. "Ever since that fire, you've been doing this off and on. Maybe you should get checked over real good or something."

"Everything was fine at the hospital a few weeks ago," Lana sighed. "I should get a physical over the next break, though."

"Might not be a bad idea," Kim agreed. "Going around with us all the time, you probably caught one of Brian's cooties."

"How the hell do I get dragged into everything?" Brian asked, looking up from his magazine. "I'm just minding my own business. And I don't have cooties. On the other hand, I did take Kim for her flea dip."

"That was _Chester, _you dumbass," Kim retorted.

"Oh, right. I got to check on the cat; he quit meowing."

"Thank God," Paul groaned.

"Paul, watch that car; he ran the light and you almost broad sided him," Kim warned.

"Jesus Christ," Paul said. "Here I am with a secretary barfing up a lung every ten minutes, two smart asses in the back seat with one of them being a back seat driver, and a hairy beast that has done nothing from the time we left the airport until now but howl at high decibels. My life is hell."

"Admit it, dude, you couldn't live without us," Brian replied once he'd seen Chester was asleep in his carrier.

"It's been a pain in the ass to live _with_ you the last ten years. 300 days a year putting up with your shit."

Brian made kissing noises. "Back at you, wifey," he replied. "If Red's still sick tonight, I'm available."

"Ugh, what are you trying to do, make Lana puke again?" Kim asked, making a face. "For someone that 'doesn't row that boat,' you sure make enough homo jokes."

"Which go in one of my ears and out the other, Kimbo," Paul said. "Rest assured dude is not my type."

"Awww, PL, you just broke my heart. And to think you led me on for ten years."

"Great, now _I'm_ going to be sick," Kim groaned.

"Spanky, make yourself useful back there and check and see if it's okay to turn since Lana dozed off."

Brian glanced up for a second. "Okay, go." 

Paul turned and almost hit a Volvo.

"God damn you, Spank!" he yelled, causing Lana to stir. "I thought you said it was okay to go!"

"It was when I glanced up," Brian replied. "Not my fault you drive like an old woman."

"And that's all you did," Kim said. "You didn't actually _look."_

"What's going on?" Lana asked groggily.

"Fucking Brian almost got us killed."

"Sure, make me out to be the bad guy," Brian said, then paused for a second. "Oh wait, that's right, I _am_ the bad guy now!"


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"Oh my God, it's a _wee-itch_!" Brian called out when Kim came into the room.

"Oh my God, it's one of the Seven Dwarfs! I think Snow White is looking for you," she responded.

"Smart ass." He flipped Kim off.

"No thanks, I'm not that desperate," she deadpanned.

"Do you two _ever_ stop?" Denise asked, looking up from a stack of papers she had been working on.

"The day they _do_ stop, Dee, is the day we all should worry," Cricket said. "If nothing else, it makes great comic relief."

"Kim's face alone is comic relief," Brian laughed.

"Ha! Speak for yourself, Elf Boy," Kim shot back.

"Paul's right about one thing, I don't see why those two just admit they like each other and go get a room," Carol chuckled.

"No thanks," Kim said, making a face. "The raise I got was a big enough joke."

"Be thankful you got a raise," Brian said. "I could have kicked you to the curb a year and a half ago."

"And you didn't because nobody else would be dumb or hard up enough to work for your happy ass for slave wages."

"Ungrateful bitch," he teased, then asked, "You seen PL anywhere?"

"Not my day to watch him, but he's home with Lana and will roll in soon. She's sick again."

"_Still?"_Denise perked up. "I thought she was supposed to see the doctor."

Kim shrugged. "She did. They said everything looked okay, but they took some blood. I don't know if she heard about that or not."

"My God, you don't think she went back on—" Cricket began.

"No," Denise said firmly. "If Lana was getting stoned on pills again, trust me, I'd be the first to notice it."

"As would PL," Brian added. "He'd have her ass in rehab faster than anyone would think."

"No question," Kim nodded in agreement. "You know, I can go down and check on her over lunch."

"Would you?" Denise asked. "I would feel a little more reassured knowing she was all right."

"She's been sick off and on since the fire at the hotel where we stood about a month back," Carol said. "Surely _some _doctor can find something wrong. It's just not normal to be that sick for this long."

"Like I said, last I heard, she didn't get the stuff back from the blood tests. Maybe they found some shit in there," Kim replied. 

"Well, whatever it is, I hope she gets back on track soon," Carol responded. "She's been pretty good for morale around here, not to mention terribly efficient."

"Yeah, unlike some people I know, she actually _earns_ what PL pays her," Brian quipped.

"Very funny, ass wipe," Kim shot back, dialing a number. "You'd be lost without me."

"Who are you calling? Don't be running up my bill."

"Hell. I want to see if they're hiring. Oh wait, never mind; I already work there."

"Figures I'd get a smart answer."

"Actually, I'm leaving a message for Lana that I'll be by over lunch."

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure you weren't calling China since that's my phone."

"Trust me, across town is hardly long distance. Now go find your boyfriend; he should be coming in any time now."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Lana anxiously sat in the waiting room of her doctor's office a few days later, wondering what he wanted to discuss with her. She'd already passed the exam a week earlier with all but flying colors; there weren't even any lasting effects from the smoke inhalation she'd suffered in that hotel fire.

"Come on, come on," she muttered. "My appointment was supposed to be eleven and Paul will be shitting razor blades if I show up late."

"Miss Moss?" a nurse called out several minutes later. "Come on back."

Finally, Lana thought. Whatever this is, let's get this over with so I can get on with life.

-----------------------

Brian looked around. "Where's your better-looking half?" he asked jokingly.

"At the doctor," Paul replied. "Apparently, she wasn't supposed to be there long, but she just called and said they were running behind."

"Why is she back there? Didn't she just go the other day?" Kim wondered.

"Yeah, but I guess something came up and they wanted to see her again."

"Jesus, PL, what are you feeding that woman to make her barf so much?" Brian inquired.

"Very funny, dude. Hell, she hasn't even eaten that much the last few weeks to begin with."

"Maybe that's why she's sick. Got to love and feed them, dude, if they're going to live and be healthy."

"What the fuck do you think I have been doing since she got out of the hospital after the fire?" Paul asked. "It's not my fault she barfs a lung every ten minutes at least most of each day."

"This coming from the king of homo jokes. Since when do _you _have the corner market knowledge on women anyway?" Kim asked, looking up from her laptop.

"I can be smart," Brian said with a whine. "And I already have The Creature From the Black Lagoon working for me."

"Oh, that's flattering, dude," Paul said, "and you wonder why you can't stay in a relationship?"

"Don't mind that, PL," Kim nodded. "I've gotten immune to it after a while. So did Lana say when she'd be in?"

"Supposed to come straight from the doctor's office. She's felt better the last couple of days anyway."

"That's good. I guess whatever she has might finally be getting out of her system."

"I sure hope so, Kimbo, because this is all worrying the shit out of me."

--------------------

"So how do you plan to proceed from here?" Denise asked.

"I have no idea," Lana said, raking a hand through her hair. "I thought..you know..being careful."

"You know, you won't have much time, Lana. This isn't going to be something you can hide forever."

"I know. Then there's dealing with the resulting issue when I do drop this bomb. I'm not even sure either of us are ready for this."

"In any event, you're going to have to say something sooner or later."

"I know," Lana replied. "Right now, I'm just confused. I have all of these emotions of being excited and terrified at the same time. Maybe I should go to a meeting tonight and get some insight on figuring all of this out before I do anything."

"That may not be a bad idea. Just clear your head and be rational before you make any decisions. You've come along so well in your recovery, the last thing you need is a snap decision to foul it up."

.------------------------

"So what do you call couples that use the rhythm method?" Brian joked around after practice that afternoon.

"Do humor us," Kim rolled her eyes. "Never mind I heard that joke in junior high school."

"Parents," Cricket spoke up, finishing the joke's tag line. 

"Thanks a fucking bunch, Cricket."

"Well, you asked, Tweedle Dumb," Kim replied.

"So what brought all that on anyway?" Cricket wondered.

"I was just thinking," Brian replied, "about all the shit of Red being sick."

"Oh my God, he really _does_ think!" Kim cried teasingly. "Put this in the books!"

"Will you cut the jokes for a second? I'm trying to get some serious shit out here."

"And you start off with a joke that's been around since dinosaurs roamed the earth? This should be fascinating."

"Anyway," Cricket cut in, "what's your theory?"

"Not to be crude, but I have a gut feeling that PL's timing was off at least _one_ time before he pulled out."

"For the love of Christ, Brian!" Kim cried.

"_What?_I'm just getting a theory out there."

"More like you've been watching too much porn again."

"Honest to God, think about it; they've been shacking up for awhile now, doing who the fuck knows what before that, and Red's been puking her head off for the last three or four weeks. I may have barely graduated from high school, but it isn't brain surgery to figure out what the hell is going on here."

"Oh….my…..God," Cricket replied. "If you're right about this, Paul is going to have a stroke."

"You're telling me."

"Wow," Kim said. "I am speechless."

"Now_there's_ something that should go in the record books," Brian responded.

"Now who's the one clowning around?" Kim asked, quirking an eyebrow. "But you really think that is what is going on?"

"Only one way to find out," he said. "I saw Red go talk to Denise. Perhaps I can intercept her on the way out. I'm taking one for the team before she encounters PL's wrath. Wish me luck."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"Just wanted to say congrats to the proud daddy," Brian clapped Paul on the shoulder. "Never thought I'd see the day this would happen. I think I might dig this godfather thing."

"What the hell are you talking about, Spanky?"

"Whoa, wait, Red hasn't seen you yet?"

"I haven't seen her most of the morning, and she hasn't been around for lunch either. Again, what's going on?" Paul shot him a look.

Brian slapped his forehead. "Oh shit, I am so screwed," he muttered to himself, then cleared his throat. "I think this is something you and Red better discuss among yourselves."

"Have you been playing puff puff pass give with Jeff again or is this another one of yours and Kimbo's practical jokes? Either way, not funny, dude."

"I wasn't trying to be funny, PL. Kimberly has nothing to do with this and Jeff's suspended, remember?"

"Are you trying to tell me that Lana could be…."

"_Could_ be? Dude, it's confirmed; there's a little Londonator on the way to the earth. I heard her and Denise talking."

"She told Dee before coming to see _me? _Jesus!"

"Maybe she values her life, man, which is why I am here to sacrifice myself for her."

"Okay, I get it; I have a little bit of a temper, okay?"

"_A little bit? _Uh….I think you're underestimating yourself some there, PL."

"Very fucking funny, Spanky. But surely to Christ Lana wouldnve, world's" /'t think I'd go off about something like this, would she?"

"Considering we've seen your hissy fits in action, she may have thought long and hard about that."

"Why didn't she tell me instead of going to Denise first?" Paul asked. "I mean…does she think I wouldnve, world's" /'t want it?"

"No offense, man, but even yourself said you weren't exactly ready to be a dad yet. Maybe that's what is worrying Red."

"I wasn't, but I guess there's a change of plans now. "I have to go talk to her."

-------------------------

"I swear to God, I have to work for the most stupid person on God's green earth," Kim groaned. "Not to mention one with the biggest mouth."

Cricket looked up from the stack of work in front of her. "What's going on now, or is it not safe to ask?"

"Fucking Brian. It isn't enough he has bionic ears and heard the conversation between Denise and Lana, but now he went blabbing to Paul about…well, you know. PL was just down the hall looking for Lana."

"Oh no," Cricket replied. "Why do I have a feeling World War III is about to break out at any time?"

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that. This is something PL needed to hear from _Lana, _not some blond midget I'm about ready to kill."

"I'm sure he didn't mean to let it slip out, Kim. Sometimes we tend to let things out without thinking."

"In_Brian's _case, that's ninety eight percent of the time. I swear sometimes he's as bad as most women when it comes to gossiping. Then again, he's as bad as most women when it comes to just about everything else too."

Brian then stuck his head in. "There you are. You seen Red around? PL's looking for her."

Kim glared at him. "I know; he was just down the hall. And _you're_ lucky I don't have anything sharp on me at the moment to stab you with."

"What the….oh fuck! Kimberly, I swear, I had _no_ idea PL hadn't talked to Red yet. Honest."

"Is your mouth always so far ahead of your brain? Never mind; don't answer that."

"Yeah, well, cat's out of the bag now."

"Thanks to you, dumbass. Not that it's any of my business, but how _did_ he take it?"

"To be honest, PL's a tough book to read. I think he's in shock. He didn't appear pissed or anything like that, just a little put off that Red went to Denise before him. But rest assured there won't be any blood shed when she and he finally do talk. I think he's saving that for me."

"As he should," Kim replied before spotting Carol passing by. 

"Carol, have you seen Lana?" she asked. "Paul's been looking for her."

"Well, I know she talked to Dee earlier and then said something about going to a meeting over lunch. She should be coming back soon if that is the case."

"That would make sense," Kim nodded. "Considering what she's had to deal with all day, a meeting could come in handy. Thanks, Carol; we'll keep you posted if and when a battle ensues afterwards."

-----------------------

Lana had come back into the building and put her belongings into her locker before heading back to work, thinking about both the things she had to get done and how to break the news to Paul about her predicament, but at least from going to the meeting, she had a better grip on the situation now.

She had been walking down the corridor and just barely passed a lounge when she heard "Lana!" being called out.

Oh dear God, Lana thought, taking a couple of steps back. Well, let's get this over with.

"Yeah, hi," she said softly to Paul.

"You want to fill me in on what the hell is going on here?"

"Well, I was—" she began.

"First, you're vague about all the doctor appointments," he said. "Then you go to Denise before coming to me when you did come from there earlier today. Now I had to hear about you being pregnant from_**SPANKY? **_Was I ever going to know about any of this shit or were you planning on doing it all behind my back?"

"How did _he_ find out? Oh my God, I should have known why he was hanging around outside while I talked to Denise. Eavesdropping."

"Never mind that. How long have you known exactly?"

Lana gave a deep sigh. "Not till today for sure. I just didn't know or suspect until the blood tests came back this morning; I thought I was still having some effects from the fire. That's why I went back to the doctor. I didn't tell anyone except Denise, and of course, there's the case of Brian and apparently his big ears and mouth."

"But you couldn't discuss this with me. Wow, glad I mean so much to you."

"I was waiting for the right time and an appropriate way to break this to you. I had no intention of hiding anything."

"So what do you plan to do?" he asked. "Because I think I should have some kind of say in this."

"I don't know. We just never talked about kids or even getting married," she replied. "Even you said at one point you weren't ready. That's why I've been torn up inside about it from the time I found out."

"Well, I guess life throws a curve ball once in awhile and plans have to change. For what it's worth, I'd love for you to keep it."

Lana stared at him, shocked. _"What?"_

"Yeah. You know, it might not be as bad as I think. Hell, this could be a chance of a lifetime."

She felt a large burden fall off her shoulders. "Are you serious?" she asked, elated.

"You have anything else in mind?"

Lana hugged him. "Not in the least, _papi."_

"_Papi,"_he repeated. "You know, I kind of like the sound of that."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"Do NOT go in there unless you really want to be sick," Kim warned Lana a few months later. Lana was starting to show a little, but her sick spells were less then they had been during her early stages of pregnancy.

"Should I ask why?" she wondered.

"Let's just say your baby's daddy decided to try and pull a sleeping beauty on Brian this morning. PL thought it'd be funny to wake him up with a shock, so he lined it up and leaned in, to where are lips were about an inch apart. Anyway, it kind of backfired because Brian was awake, grabbed PL, and planted a huge wet one on him."

Lana let out a howl of laughter. "And _that's _supposed to make me sick?"

"Well,_I_ was about ready to puke and I'm not even pregnant. I think I will never see either of those guys the same way again."

"Oh, Kim. Those two are always pulling crazy things. I'd be shocked if they hadn't been making out long before this. Besides, if he and Brian are molesting each other, Paul's leaving _me_ alone."

"You mean you don't mind that nasty stuff?"

"Of course not; I see it for what it is. And what is that God awful noise?"

"Brian singing in the shower. Sounds more like cats mating if you ask me. I'm surprised PL hasn't joined him in there after what I just witnessed." Kim gave off a shudder.

"And here I thought nothing surprised you about Bri after working for him for a year and a half."

"I thought so too, until I saw that. I know he's made a lot of homo jokes and references, but Jesus!"

"I'm sure they'll invite both of us to the wedding," Lana kidded.

"You are one sick, sick person," Kim managed to chuckle.

"Must be all of these pregnancy hormones. I've been _very_ weird these days."

"Well, at least you aren't like most women and either bawling your eyes out or biting PL's head off."

"I beg to differ on the head biting part," Lana replied. "Actually, I was about to deck him once for making a comment about my boobs being bigger than normal."

"Now that would have been a sight to see," Kim nodded. "A two hundred pound man a shade under six feet tall being clobbered by a five foot two pregnant woman. Of course, we all PL's a boob man anyway, so I'm not surprised by the comment."

"It wasn't as much the comment as it was him grabbing them. It _hurt._It's bad enough my ass is starting to spread without being reminded of my chest expanding too."

"Probably a lot of stuff hurting now, huh?"

"A little here and there; that and me having to pee every twenty minutes."

"The joy of impending motherhood."

"Yeah. It's kind of funny, Kim; there was a time I tried so hard to have kids and it never happened. And then a couple of times too many with the king of romance back there, and now look at me."

"Well, be thankful it isn't Spanky's. The thought of _that _thing's DNA being spread around is a scary thought in itself. Then again, you wouldn't have to be so concerned about your ass getting bigger then, because the boy has bad it for butts. I swear the little shit was checking _mine_ out the other day when he wasn't making jokes about tapping PL's."

"He may could have been," Lana smiled again. "I really don't see why—"

"Oh dear Christ, not you too! Have I not said before that am not _that_hard up for a guy?"

"The way you two go back and forth, you could have fooled any of the rest of us around you."

"Anyway," Kim cleared her throat and changed the subject, "any idea on what you're having?"

"I go for my ultrasound on Tuesday when we get back home," Lana nodded. "Frankly, though, I don't think I want to know the sex. It kind of ruins the element of surprise, you know?"

"Yeah," Kim agreed. "Plus it keeps Daddy guessing too."

"Motherfucker!" they heard Paul yell from the back. "God damn you, Brian!"

"_What?"_Brian asked back.

"Oh dear God, now what?" Lana groaned.

"Do we really want to know after what I just saw this morning?" Kim wondered.

"All right, what is going on back there?" Lana asked louder.

"It isn't bad enough fucking Brian left hair in the drain, he used my damn soap! Gross!"

"I forgot to clean the drain, okay?" Brian whined. "Crucify me, why don't you, PL?"

"And to think this is coming from someone who played tonsil hockey with Bri earlier," Lana responded.

"Very funny, Lana. Just bring me another bar of soap and save the fucking commentary, will you?" Paul asked. "And I swear to Christ, dude, you use my soap again, I've shoving it up your ass!"

"Wow, PL, I knew you were a freak, but shoving soap up my ass? Damn," Brian teased, laughing.

Lana rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Please pray that this baby is a girl," she finally said, heading toward the bathroom with the soap. "I don't think I could handle two males with the same DNA in one house."

"I hear you there," Kim agreed. "Dealing with two with separate DNA's is bad enough."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

A few weeks later, Lana had been fast asleep in one of the hotel suite's rooms when she felt something going up her leg.

She wasn't sure what time it was, but the feeling was enough to wake her.

"What the….?" she muttered sleepily.

"Just me, baby," Paul growled in her ear lowly before working his way down to the rest of her body.

Holy cow, she thought. Did he honestly want sex in the middle of the night? Not that Lana minded; her sex drive had been a little higher than normal lately, which was to be expected with her being pregnant.

Lana could then feel his tongue in her vagina and on her clitoris, and he had inserted one finger into her. Not long after she came, with her body rocking heavily, and biting down on her lip to muffle her cries.

By now, she was reaching for his dick. "Oh please. Please fuck me. Please," she begged him.

Paul thrust his dick into Lana moaned loudly as he was thrusting away. He was in deep blissful concentration the whole time.

Lana laid back as much as possible, intensely enjoying the sensations he was giving her. She closed her eyes, and could feel the warm insistence of orgasm creeping up on her.

She held back for a while, clenching her fists and scrunching her face, not wanting it to happen too soon. But then she squealed, mixed in with some sighs as she shuddered yet again.

Not long after, Paul withdrew and came over her lower belly. Lana rubbed his sperm into her skin, luxuriating in the glow of the moment.

He lay next to her for a few minutes, kissing and snuggling into her breasts, telling her how beautiful she was in her exulted state.

They had fallen asleep cuddled together not long after.

It was mid-morning when Kim had stirred; the last thing she had remembered was watching movies with the other three the night before.

She figured that she must have dropped off to sleep at some point, but at least she finally got some much-needed rest.

But as she slowly awakened, Kim felt something pressed against and around her and gentle snoring in her ear.

"Huh?" she muttered sleepily before slowly turning around and finding Brian beside her.

"**GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!**" she yelled, giving him a shove, sending Brian to the floor.

He had woken on impact. "Wha…what the fuck is your problem?"

"You sick perv! You were totally spooning me!"

The commotion was enough to wake Paul and Lana, who had come into the room.

"What's going on?" Lana asked.

"Ask _him_. Last I remembered, we were all watching movies and the next thing I knew, I woke to Freak Boy spooning me. Now I got to take a shower and disinfect myself." She then gave off a shudder and headed to the bathroom.

"Gee, Kimberly, glad to hear it was as good for you as it was for me," Brian quipped, picking himself off the floor as Paul began to howl.

"Come on, Paul, that isn't funny," Lana said. "It's almost like I went through the first time with you."

"Yeah, but you didn't all but shove me out of bed," he said, still laughing.

"It was an accident, I swear," Brian said, wide eyed. "I thought she was PL."

"You wish, dude," Paul shook his head, laughing again. "But I have to admit you two do make a cute couple."

"Not funny, PL," he snorted.

"Who'd thought Spanky and Kimbo would end up sleeping together?" Paul continued to goad.

"Paul, stop," Lana said. "It's enough that both of them are freaked out. Don't make it worse."

"Yeah, and she nearly gave me a fucking concussion in the process. And unlike PL, I don't bone the help. No offense, Red."

"None taken," Lana nodded as Kim came out of the bathroom.

"I think I'm finally fumigated," Kim announced. "God, Brian, you've done some stupid shit, but this has to be your sickest yet."

"It was an accident, I swear," he repeated. "It wasn't like we got drunk and boned."

"Thank God! I'd been ready to hurl for sure then."

"Um, sorry?" he asked as accepted the clothes Kim threw at him from a drawer and headed into the bathroom.

"Come on, Kim," Lana said, "it isn't that much of a disaster. Remember what you told me when I went through the same thing with Paul? It was bound to happen."

"Yeah, and we all know how _that_ turned out later down the road," Kim replied, indicating Lana's swollen middle. "No thanks; we don't need any repeat performances."

"Oh for Pete's sake, it wasn't like you weren't wearing night clothes."

"Would have been more interesting if you _hadn't_ been," Paul said with a cheesy grin. "And Spanky usually goes raw. Dude must have really been tired to have something on for a change."

He was rewarded with a smack on the head from Lana.

"Ow!" Paul yelled. "What? I was just stating a fact."

"Again, don't make things worse," Lana replied.

Brian came out of the bathroom, looking a little flustered. "Sorry, Kimberly," he finally said.

"Well, I guess since we both had our delousing and your shots are current, I'm not really mad at you anymore," Kim replied. "So you fell asleep spooning me. No biggie. It was an accident. All right?"

"All righty then."

"Okay, now that the happy couple has made up, I guess Lana and I can get a shower before we have to pack our shit and check out," Paul said.

"I've already had mine," Lana nodded. "And I've packed our things too."

"Jesus, woman, you're too efficient for words."

"Go get your shower," Lana ordered. "We have to be out by noon."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"What's wrong with PL?" Cricket asked Lana on Monday morning. "He's terribly quiet."

"I wondered that myself," Denise chimed in. "You guys didn't have a fight or anything, did you?"

Lana shook her head. "I really don't want to get into details, but he's been a little down since he came home from seeing his mom last night."

"Yeah, the boss filled me on that last night," Kim replied. "As Lana said, we won't get into gory details, but the whole thing kind of sucks."

"It does," Lana agreed. "But the good thing is he has us to turn to. And I'm proud of him no matter what he's doing, not to mention it's been an honor working for him all of this time. Of course, I can thank Denise for that part."

"Honey, I only referred you," Denise replied. "_He_ made the final decision to hire you."

"And there's a baby coming in a few months," Carol smiled. "Talk about a major accomplishment."

"Thank you, Carol," Lana smiled. "And he's got a lot more accomplishments than that; it just takes some good, supportive souls to point that out."

"Hey, guys," Suzanne walked in. "Any coffee going around?"

"Fresh pot over there, Suz," Kim replied. "Dave let you off your leash for once, huh?"

"Something like that," Suzanne nodded, chuckling. "I guess he's in a good mood for a change. Well, he's working out right now and I've got all the booking arrangements done, so I have some peace for at least a couple of hours."

"You could do worse," Cricket said. "I've been dealing with ass pain Randy for over a year." She then jerked a thumb over at Kim. "Then again, you could do better and have _her_ boss."

"Yeah, I bet Brian's a barrel of laughs," Suzanne grinned. "Talk about sheer luck of working for someone _fun."_

"You don't know the half of it," Lana laughed. "Never a dull moment around him or Paul."

"And you two have the better salaries," Kim replied. "But after hearing the way you guys go on, I think I'll stick to the lesser of the two evils."

"In other words, she is crushing on Brian bad," Carol said, trying to keep a straight face as Lana let go a small giggle.

"I am not!" Kim cried in protest. "Damn you, Carol!"

"And I think it's mutual," Cricket added. "Dude just doesn't want to admit it."

"Come to think of it, Lana did say something about the spooning thing a few nights ago," Suzanne nodded.

"Lana!" Kim yelled. "I can't believe you said that! It was an _accident."_

"So it appears," Lana agreed. "Still, I can't help but agree that you guys should have a make out session and relieve the tension. And you _were_ moaning in your sleep last night."

"Whoa!" Denise hooted. "I don't want to know what that was about!"

"God, you all are digusting. I am not making out with my boss. _Period_. As you all know, he 'does not bone the help.' His words, not mine."

"Speaking of bosses, stay clear of Ricky Ricardo out there," Suzanne said, indicating Paul. "I think he's got a bug up his ass again."

"_Again? _That's every other day," Cricket replied. "Jesus, Lana, aren't you giving him enough nooky or something?"

"Suz, don't call him that," Lana chided Suzanne before turning to Cricket. "And if you should know, how much 'nooky' he's getting or not getting has nothing to do with it. His trip to New Mexico yesterday wasn't exactly a stellar one, to say the least. Just give him some space to clear it out of his system."

"Okay, but I hope he doesn't go ape shit on people like he did last week," Suzanne responded. "And I thought _Dave_ had a bad ass temper."

"Well, if he does, he'll hear it from _me," _Lana reassured her. "I'm already carrying one child; I don't exactly relish the thought of raising another one that's in a man's body."

"If Brian doesn't smack him upside his head first," Kim added. "If all else fails, we can always count on the midget to calm PL's ass down."

"Thank God for that," Lana agreed. "Sometimes, even I don't have that kind of luck."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

"You sure you're all right?" Lana asked, her arms encircled around Paul.

"I am now. I'm just happy I've got my midget back," he smiled down, touched by her concern.

"Good. Kim and I were worried for awhile and even Cricket and Suzanne were ready to run for their lives."

"Am I honestly _that_ fucking scary?"

"Evidently you've never really seen yourself in action that closely when you go into a snit," Lana teased.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not always a fun guy to be around. Sorry. I know you don't need my shit on top of you having a baby."

"Paul, it's perfectly all right. Some people may expect you to put up a front all of the time, but I'd rather see you be yourself. You know that."

He felt something odd against him. "What the hell was that?"

Lana gave a little laugh, knowing he was referring to the baby kicking. "Your son saying hello again."

"_Son? _I thought you didn't want to….."

"Initially, I didn't, but curiosity won out. It's a boy."

"_Sabes que! _That's some great ass news!"

"I'm glad your midget and I made your afternoon," she chuckled.

"By the way, is it okay if I tell Bri too?"

"Of course! He _is_ going to be the godfather, after all."

"You tell Kimbo yet?"

"I certainly hope so. She went with me to the appointment, remember?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, brain fart."

"No problem. So are we all going to dinner together?"

"Sure, why not? Nothing like seeing Kimbo and Spanky trading insults to hide the real deal going on between them," Paul laughed.

"I know! It's so damned obvious to everyone around here except _them! _I just don't see why they just don't get it over with already."

"I think we need to co-conspire something."

"Like what?" Lana wondered.

"Come here a minute," he replied, pulling her over and whispering something in her ear.

"Paul! Surely you don't mean that!"

"What? You know Spanky will do just about anything for money. Why not have me make a bet with him?"

"I can't believe I am hearing this," she chuckled.

"Well, we know it won't go over with Kimbo, so yeah, the blond midget will be a perfect victim."

"I certainly hope for your sake this doesn't backfire," Lana warned him.

"Trust me, baby, I have a gut feeling that it won't."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

_One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna win ya  
I'll getcha, I'll getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna see ya  
I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha  
One day, maybe next week  
I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha_

_--"One Way Or Another" by Blondie_

"Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, I told you, I don't bone the help, especially _that_ thing," Brian shook his head, thinking his best friend and Lana had long taken leave of their senses for sure.

"We aren't asking you to bone her," Paul laughed. "But damn, live a little, would you? It would sure beat the hell of you trying to crawl all over me and touching _my_ ass most of the time."

"Hey, I own that ass," Brian said.

"You _think," _Lana spoke up.

"Okay, at least part of it. But if you think I'm doing anything you suggested to Kimberly, you're out of your minds."

Lana looked at Paul. "You're right; he is too chicken."

"Yeah, I guess I'll be able to keep that fifty bucks after all," he agreed.

"Whoa, wait! What's this about fifty bucks?" Brian perked up.

"Never mind, since we already knew you're chickenshit. I already won the bet before it was made," Paul said with a grin.

"In other words, fifty dollars says you won't do it," Lana added.

"Oh, so you two want to be smart and make a bet, huh? Okay, assholes, I'll show you how chicken I am—or in this case, _not."_

"There's a stipulation, dude," Paul pointed out.

"And that would be?"

"You got to do it in front of us," Lana replied.

"Just to make sure you actually did it," Paul nodded. "Otherwise, you lose and have to clean our place for a week."

"Ha! Prepare to pay me that fifty bucks and clean your own damn house. You're on!"

"Oh no you didn't!" Suzanne cried when Lana told the girls about the bet.

"I did," Lana giggled, "rather, Paul and I did."

"This should get interesting," Cricket laughed. "Lana, I have never seen this side of you!"

"Yeah, you were always the serious one out of all of us," Denise nodded. "I never had you figured as the type to get involved in hijinks like this."

"Actually, this whole thing was _Paul's_ idea," Lana clarified. "I'm just along for the ride. Nevertheless, we're going to need an audience. Anyone game?"

"I'm in," Cricket grinned.

"As am I," Suzanne chimed in. "I wouldn't want to miss this."

"I have the camera phone to preserve evidence," Denise replied with a laugh.

"Excellent," Lana nodded. "Now it's just waiting for Kim to come back from lunch."

Half an hour later, Kim had returned from lunch and found the group hanging out.

"Hey, guys," she said cheerfully. "Anything happening that I missed?"

"Nothing that important," Lana replied. "Just small stuff, really."

"Speaking of small stuff, anyone seen The Midget?" Kim wondered. "I'm shocked I actually walked in the door and wasn't ambushed for once."

"He's probably still in the building someplace," Cricket replied

"Hang on a sec; I have to make a phone call." Paul said, trying to be casual. He then gave Lana a sly wink.

"Wow, that was random," Kim said, watching him make a call.

"He's probably hunting down Spanky for you," Lana said.

"Oh gee, the highlight of my afternoon."

"Now who else would you hurl insults at that would both take and give them back?"

"Yeah, good point. That may explain why I stuck around for a year and a half."

Paul snapped his phone shut. "I tracked him down," he said. "He should be up here in a couple of minutes. He was bench pressing downstairs."

"Ugh," Kim made a face. "Now I have to deal with a _smelly_ midget."

"He took a shower, Kimbo; don't worry."

"Thank God. I'd hate to think of the idea of recycling a perfectly good lunch otherwise."

"Oh, stop," Lana chided playfully. "You enjoy each other's company and you know it."

"Greetings, good people!" Brian called. "There you are, Kimberly."

"Yeah, my day isn't made until you hunt me down at least once," Kim quipped.

"Well, I kind of got a favor to ask you," he replied, giving Paul a wicked grin.

"Do entertain me," Kim said.

Before she knew it, Brian had spun Kim around and grabbed her before laying a huge kiss on the mouth. Hoots and whistles filled the room and Denise got a shot on her camera phone.

"**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" **Kim yelled, pushing him off of her.

Brian then grinned again, sashaying over to Paul and held out his hand. "Pay me, dude."

Paul sighed and peeled out some bills, slapping them in Brian's hand. "The one damn thing I'd _never _thought you'd do," he said.

"Did _you_ put him up to this, Paul?" Kim cried. "God, you are utterly disgusting!"

"I don't know, Kim; you looked like you kind of enjoyed it," Lana giggled.

"And you should know by now that Spanky will do just about anything for money," Paul added.

"Yeah, and this time, he may also pay with his life."

"Oh, I ain't done yet," Brian replied.

"Like hell you aren't. You've infected me enough."

"Who said anything about finishing with _you?" _he asked, before he bent down, grabbed Paul's face, and laid on a huge, wet one.

"Oh my God!" Lana said, squealing with laughter as Denise took another shot with her camera phone. More hoots and whistles filled the room.

"**GET OFF OF ME!" **Paul yelled, shoving Brian away before using his shirt to wipe away the slobber. "Jesus Christ, Spanky!"

"Aw, come on, dude, you know you loved it as much as you did the other morning," Brian teased, then held up the money. "Count them and weep, bitches. Looks like old PL here is going to be cleaning his own house. The smooch you all just witnessed was a thank you present."

When he left the room, Kim shook her head. "Excuse me while I go kill a midget," she finally said, and then looked at Paul. "Since you also got infected and you're an expectant father, I'll let you live—_for now."_


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"**FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" **Lana screamed at Paul during labor several months later. "**AND IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I WILL CUT IT OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR GODDAMN THROAT!"**

"What? I'm just concerned about you," Paul said, bemused. He'd seen Lana pissed before, but nothing like this.

"If you were so damn concerned, you wouldn't have done this to me in the first place. Your stupid fault for not pulling out in time. **YOURS**, I said!"

"Come on, baby, you don't mean that."

"Get away from me," she hissed.

"Jesus, if having kids turns you into Satan, this will definitely be an only child."

"And fuck you too, Paul."

"Uh….isn't that how we ended up in the present situation to begin with?"

"The head is crowning," the doctor said, seeming nonplussed at the exchange between Lana and Paul. "Not much longer now before the baby is here."

"Well, hurry the hell up, will you? I'm dying a slow and painful death here!" Lana cried.

"Hear that? The kid is almost out of the oven," Paul grinned he watched in wonder as the head of his son came into view.

"Hey, stupid ass," Kim smacked a dozing Brian across the head a few hours later. "Wake the hell up."

"What…what the fuck are you bitching about now?" he asked groggily, rubbing his head.

"Somebody's headed our way. I think Lana finally had the baby."

"Yeah?" He was now fully awake. "Where's PL?"

"Duh, he's probably still with her, Tweedle Dumb. Do I have to tell you _everything?"_

"Hey, you knew I wasn't the sharpest tool in the garage when you married me."

"Yeah, good point. I think I must have had temporary insanity when we eloped to Vegas."

"Love you too, Kimberly."

A nurse approached the pair, stating that Lana had a healthy, nine-pound boy, and both baby and parents were doing well.

"You mean germ freak PL didn't pass out?" Brian asked with a goofy grin.

He was rewarded with a punch in the arm from Kim. "Real smooth, dimwit."

The nurse chuckled. "Actually, he did very well, even with his wife yelling at him the whole time."

"Uh, PL and Red aren't—" Brian began before Kim clapped a hand over his mouth.

"You'll have to excuse my husband," she explained. "His mouth is way ahead of his brain most of the time."

The nurse nodded, still smiling. "Visiting hours start in a few hours, so perhaps you'd like to go get some coffee or something if you like. You're welcome to come back later once we have Lana settled in her room."

"You _are_ going to marry her, aren't you?" Brian asked a few days later when Paul had brought Lana and Daniel home.

"Uh…actually, we haven't really discussed it," Paul replied.

"Dude, what are you waiting for, the next millenium? Surely to Christ, I'm sure the little guy would like to have his parents make it official before he's thirty."

"A piece of paper makes no difference on how Lana and I feel about each other, Spanky."

"No, but it might keep Danny from asking twenty questions when he gets older about why his _mami _and _papi _aren't married. I mean, come on, if I married the sea creature back there and lived to tell about it, it sure as hell won't kill you to make it legal with Red."

"Love you too, Shortzilla," Kim called back.

"Nice to see you two in wedded bliss," Paul raised an eyebrow.

"You kidding? I was all but ready to give up on bitches after my last relationship was shot to hell. You two were right; Kimberly is the total package. She can not only take my bullshit and give it back to me, she's got a nice rack, a great can, is a great fuck, _and_ she can kick my ass. How couldn't I eventually fall for her and wisk her off to Vegas before someone else snatched her up?"

"And your family bitched you out for a week about that afterwards, not to mention I was ready to rip your head off and use it for a statue. You're lucky I forgave your happy ass."

"Yeah, they were a little pissed, but they forgave me too. Actually, Shanny thought it was pretty cool."

"She would," Paul rolled his eyes. "I mean who else would have an old lady in a robe and curlers who ran the chapel and some hippie you picked up off the street as witnesses, not to mention an Elvis impersonator perform the ceremony?"

"And our wedding dinner at Denny's afterwards. That cost me less than twenty bucks."

"Cheap bastard," Kim called out teasingly.

"Only the best for my darling," Brian replied.

"You two are hopeless," Paul groaned.

"Well, if you think you can do better, get your ass in gear and propose to Red, because you know I'm going to stay on your shit until you do."

When Danny was six months old, Paul and Lana were married in a small, private ceremony that had been basically hush-hush, with Kim and Brian at their side. There was a simple reception afterwards, most of it involving passing Danny around to friends and relatives.

"You know, the nicest thing about other people's kids is you can give them back at the end of the day," Brian quipped, holding Danny in his lap.

Kim whacked him on the head for his efforts. "Nice way to describe your own godson."

"_What? _Even you said you weren't ready for kids."

"I'm not, but I will admit Danny's good practice for the day when we are."

"Yeah, because you stick _me_ with the shitty diapers."

"You think Lana and Paul haven't had more than their share? Quit bitching already."

"Uh, speaking of diapers, I think there's a problem here."

Brian lifted up Danny, displaying a wet spot on his leg where the baby had sat and Kim began to laugh.

"Great, now I got a wet spot and will smell like baby piss the rest of the party and you're laughing like a hyena."

"Oh, you are such an old woman," Kim said, taking Danny. "It's only pee; you're washable and so are your clothes."

"Bitch," he grumbled.

"Ho," she answered back.

It was just the beginning of total bliss for both couples.


End file.
